My campus minister read my previous post and had some really good thoughts that actually changed a lot of the way I look at this topic.

He said…

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Hmmmm…

Interesting thoughts. You bring up many points worthy of discussion (unfortunately, typing on a computer doesn’t constitute a conversation, so I will simply make some comments… my two cents, if you will).

I would argue that God’s pronouncement that man not having a “helper fit for him” was “not good” does not necessitate that Adam felt any “need” for a companion (or that he was lonely, sad, or any other related emotion). The text is silent as to the emotional state of Adam. I think it safe to assume that Adam had no emotional response for having no helper fit for him (or, at the very least, his emotion response was inconsequential… if it were not, surly mention would have been made of it). From a strictly logical standpoint, how can one miss (or yearn for) what he as never known. In other words, how can Adam desire a woman (wife) when woman didn’t exist? However, if by chance Adam was “feeling alone”, it seems unlikely (and against the nature of a Sovereign God) that He looked at Adam and saw him upset about being alone and this in turn caused God to say, “I guess it is not good what I made… Adam is clearly alone and he needs me to make him a helper.” If God is simply reactionary to our emotions (more specifically, the emotions of the first man) I believe this belittles God supremacy and places man at the center of all things (A place he was not created to occupy – ref. Romans 11.36). I think the safest exposition here is that God’s declaration of man being alone was just that, a declaration.

(ok.. I just had like an hour long interruption, so I have basically lost my train of thought… must go read again)

In paragraph 2 there seems to be a pre-supposition that singleness = pain. While I can easily remember the desire to find “the one” when I was single, I definitely do not think that singleness should be considered painful (Paul… uh, the apostle, obviously thought that being single was pretty great – ref. 1 Corinthians 7.7).

QUOTE: but rather only in looking towards God and seeking Him can we find the person that can fill that void. — While I don’t think there is a void, I do really like this point and believe it applicable to all areas of life (ref – Matthew 6.33).

So, the 20 million dollar question from the third to last paragraph is, “if the next girl you date is not going to be your wife… why date her?” :o) I couldn’t resist. the real question is what is the purpose of dating? In “the church” there are so many opinions and terms in relation to dating and courtship… I consider it most critical that all single men and women examine his or her approach to relationships and truly seek to come to what they believe is God’s plan. Society has really messed things up and I think it is time for our generation to regain a proper approach to relationships and end this culture of divorce that prevails everywhere.

QUOTE: As long as I seek His will, everything else will fall into place.

— “Amen”

Well, I’m going home. Thanks for making me think.

_ryan

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

~socrates

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I think he is absolutely right, actually. Usually I’m not so easily swayed in these kind of things, but after reading his response, I couldn’t help but rethink things. I guess that’s why he’s the discipler and I’m the disciplee. Though I would argue the purpose of dating to be to get to know people, learn the dynamics of relationships, help you learn how to relate to others of the opposite sex, and so on; I totally think that modern society has distorted its function and form. Personally, I’m more of a fan of the courting method, but seeing as it’s hard to find others that agree, I think the same goals can be served through dating if done correctly with God as the center of the relationship. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and my campus minister is an example of that. The story of how him and his wife got together is amazing, and I am persoanlly aiming for that kind of relationship with someone, completely grounded and founded in friendship, selfless love, and Christ as the head. Other than the dating point, I totally agree with Ryan. Having someone romantically in your life should not be necessary to effectively serve God. In fact, many times (as Ryan points out about Paul, the apostle) being single is exactly what God calls people to be because you can better serve God in that capacity. Ryan told me one of the most amazing things the other day as we left lunch at Chipotle (yeah baby!). I told him about the loneliness I was feeling and that I was such a hopeless romantic I had all this “romanticism” built up inside of me (not sexual tension, mind you) and I really wanted someone I cared about so I could just shower them with this. He asked me to consider what that meant. What did it mean to “shower someone” with that? Inevitably, I realized, the outworking of those feelings would eventually become a physical manifestation of them, which would cause the inevitable physical complications found in most relationsips that I, admittedly, thought I was above by now. This made me praise God that He has in fact kept me from a relationship in the past few years that would become prey to the same complications that evey “normal” and secualr relationship falls to. Even as I write this, dating, or rather, serious relationships, or seeming more and more useless and in fact harmful to my Christian walk. I want to thank Ryan for saying that and making realize that even that romance I should be saving for my future wife, not just the physical manifestations thereof, and want to thank God that he has kept me pure thus far, and will continue to do so for my future wife, whoever she may be. So, whoever she will be, I love you, and just know that all this is being done, said, and worked out in me so that I can give you the most of me that I can.

God Bless, everyone,

— Paul <