Salvation

The big news . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 5 Comments

Nope, not engaged.

Several people here in Philadelphia know this, but I realize hardly anyone in Richmond does, so here I am writing this now.

I won’t be coming back to Westminster next year.

Long story short, my undergraduate loan payments have been steadily increasing and are now getting to a place where my parents can’t handle it alone – nor should they (before you all ask: no, this isn’t the kind of loan that waits until I’m done to require payments; no, my parents can’t consolidate it; yes, we’ve thought through it all).  I’ve decided to take at least a year off from graduate studies to get a full time job somewhere and help pay some things off.I’m focusing in Philadelphia, and trying to stay here, but I’m also looking at jobs in other places (especially Richmond).

Academically, what does this mean?Well, so far I’m still signed up for one counseling class next semester in the evenings, but I’m going to start applying to various Ph.D. programs and seeing what happens.There’s a program at Princeton I’ve fallen in love with in “Psychology and Social Policy”.I’ve realized that I was seeing seminary somewhat as a potential aid in getting into a Ph.D. program, but frankly, it’s seems to only be hurting my chances (on many levels).So, I’ll see if I can get in without it and then go back to Westminster afterwards if I want.

Practically, this means a lot more time and freedom to read what I want, write what I want, minister in different ways, and just generally feel like an actual member of society.I’ve already started writing a little bit more, doing more web stuff (Reform & Revive has been amazing recently!), and (I can’t believe I’m admitting this now), I’ve started a podcast which I’ll write on more later.

Spiritually speaking, what does this mean?Well, the answer to that question deserves a whole post in its self.I’ve been encouraged that as the workload lightens and I seem to be leaving seminary in a sense, I find myself driven more to prayer and the Word of God than while I was in seminary.They don’t tell you that seminary is not a secluded spiritual resort, but rather the darkest front lines of battle.This has been the most intense spiritual year of my life.I’ve had some of my darkest nights and moments this past year.I’ve gone my longest stints ever without drawing near to my Lord in any way.In short, it’s been rough.In short, it’s been painful.In short, I think I came to seminary too soon.I came too young.I wasn’t ready to handle the weight that this institution would hold.I have not developed the maturity and cultivation necessary to have an anchor in my soul beyond my sheer white-knuckled will.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this past year has been amazing.It’s also been the best year of my life, I think.That’s generally how God works.Very Dickensian: the best of times, the worst of times . . ..I wouldn’t give this past year back for anything.My love, affection, and knowledge of my Lord have grown exponentially.If I never go back to seminary I will forever be grateful to the Providence of God for giving me these two semesters.

God has always dealt with me in such a way that I had a very good sense of what the future held for me.This is the first time in my life that he has allowed everything to really fall apart all around me in a matter of weeks.And this is his mercy to me.This is his love for me.It is his commitment to make me need him, because he himself is what I need the most.He is my anchor.He is my certainty.He is my Lord, and my God, and I love him.

So, we’ll see what life holds.God has still been gracious to me in this time. I have great friends and my church (though still going through so much turmoil) has still been healthy and amazing.  I’ve even realized that my life as it was wasn’t very financially sustainable.  I couldn’t continue into my mid- and later-20s still asking my parents for rent money while working 15-hour work weeks at various low hourly rates.  I should have decided to so this regardless of money.

I feel it’s appropriate I’ve written this entire post while I sit in what may be my last seminary class ever, Medieval Church.Which is a appropriate, I suppose.Just like this strange period in history, and more specifically where we are in this last class, I sit here with my Rome having fallen, some dark ages having passed, standing on the cusp of my Reformation, waiting to rediscover the nearness of my Lord.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have.

A Coffee Gospel & the Beauty of Christ

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

mosaicThis is a snippet from an Easter Service by Erwin McManus of Mosaic Church in Los Angeles.  His coffee story pretty much sums up my life.  I love it.  The rest is a freebie.  Enjoy!

Let me know if the audio doesn’t work.  It’s about 9 minutes long, so if you have a few minutes to spare, take full advantage of it.

“Beauty: Easter Service” by Erwin McManus (click here for download)

Seminary Semester 1 Wrap-up

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Semester 1 Stats:

  • Less than 4 months (Sept-Dec)
  • Pages of papers written: 114
  • Pages of notes taken: 154
  • Pages read: about 1,900 (+/-100)

Total pages written: 268 (I produced just over 13% of what I consumed)

Ending GPA: 3.2

Wow. This semester. Tomorrow begins semester 2 and I’m both excited and hesitant. This past semester gave me wrestlings and questions I never knew were there. It showed me depths and complexities of my own sin I never knew resided in my heart. I never knew just how undisciplined I am. It seems that the greater the work load, the more things I use to distract myself from doing it. The TV website hulu (that had that great Super Bowl commercial) consumed more hours of my life than did Greek or reading. I think I tripled how many shows I kept up with. It’s embarrassing and difficult for me to admit that, but it’s true. My Bible reading withered down to a few chapters a week. I didn’t get to spend time with anyone from my church. I questioned my place at the church, attempting to leave a few times before God exposed my pride and youthful arrogance and called me to submit to the place he had called me to. I realized I am self-willed, addicted to control and self-pleasure, and unwilling to properly steward the relationships and opportunities God places in my life.

In short: this semester was the most amazing 4 months of my life.

I just want to use the rest of this post to list out the main take-aways I got from this semester. If this is what just one semester does to me, I have no idea what 6 or 7 more will do. This is going to be an incredible experience. So I hope these lessons and wrestlings find a place in all your hearts as just one sojourner’s path down this bloody, uphill, broken, tear-stained, cross-bearing road called the Christian stumble.

  • My biggest take-away all semester: I am a weak and finite man wholly dependent on the grace of God for anything good within him.
  • The substance of this Christian life is one of God using people, circumstances, and His Spirit to show you the depths of your own weakness and sin, that you might see His love and faithfulness toward you to a greater degree and that this might lead you to worship and rest in Him more.
  • The entire logic and reason behind the whole of the Christian faith is ultimately circular, just like everyone else’s epistemology. But circular logic is okay, as long as you’re in the right circle.
  • God has so structured this “Christianity” thing such that it would all depend wholly on faith. Ultimately we believe in God because we do. Any reason other that that makes that the authority our faith is resting upon. This faith is messy. Our canon development, textual criticism, historiography, and even our very knowledge of God rests ultimately on our faith in Him, and not on any external standard or rule of truth.
  • I am more sinful than I ever dared imagined, but more loved than I could ever dare hope.
  • Due to the curse of God on this earth because of Adam, everything will war against me being the man God has called me to be.
  • God has given me the opportunities, things, and relationships in my life not to feed my lusts and insecurities, but rather for me to properly steward and enjoy them as God has providentially led them to be right now.
  • Sanctification is a crawl; it is no super-highway. It is progressive and rarely happens in spurts. I have waited too long for “the perfect sermon”, “the perfect song”, or “the perfect Bible verse” to change me rather than resting on and in the perfect righteousness of my Savior.
  • The imputation of the righteousness of Jesus Christ to His believers is my favorite and most precious doctrine of the Christian faith. Clothing His sin-stained Bride in the robe of His own life is the foundation of my acceptance and rest in the arms of my Lover.
  • Right theology must lead to both right practice and worship for it to be true Orthodoxy. Anyone studying the Bible who is not stirred at the affectional level is not doing theology, they are merely studying literature.

Semester 2 approaches tomorrow with me not as prepared for Greek as I should be, but with a fire in my bones and a grace upon my heart to find the discipline and time management to fully take advantage of all this semester has to offer. If you get this far down this post, please pray for me, that I might remain conscious of my finitude and weakness, trusting alone in all my Savior has accomplished on my behalf that I might freely enjoy Him and every nuance of who He is.

Grace and peace. (oh the beauty of those words!)

The Bad News Really is Bad News

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

I made a kid cry at work the other day.

Currently, I work as a tutor in an after school program. It’s sort of like a program I did in Richmond, except this one isn’t a Christian organization. It’s government funded so the thrust of the program is not personal growth or real learning, but rather results results results. I hate it. Nevertheless, anyone that knows me knows I would find some way to actually try and mentor these kids and not just tutor them.

Well this past week, these two fourth graders were teasing eachother. She kept calling him gay and he kept calling her a lesbian. Yeah, fourth grade. I immediately stood behind the boy (who was seated in the corner) and placed my hands on either side of him on the table he was seated at and leaned in to talk directly in his ear from behind him (did I explain that posture well enough? It is relevant to the rest of the story.) Anyway, I spoke very firmly and directly to the boy. Here was the exchange:

P: “You do not call a girl that!”

M: “Why? She called me a name first!”

P: “That doesn’t matter!”

M: “Why not? I get it at home, and then I come here and get it here too!”

P: “That’s not the point, Mike. Mike, what she says does not change who you are or effect you in any way. Mike, I’m telling you, if you don’t get over this whole hypersensitivity to other people, it will affect the rest of your life.”

M: “No it won’t . . .”

P: “Mike, you can’t do this. This shows that you’re putting all of your security and identity in what other people say. You have to rest your security and who you are in something other than the approval of others. If you don’t, it will kill you later on in life. You will face more heartache, failed relationships, and insecurity than you can possibly fathom now. You can’t just react to what others say. You’re putting too much stock in the words of others and it will ended up hurting both you and other people in ways you can’t see right now. So please, just stop talking and get your work done.”

Yes, I talk to the kids like that.  They get a whole lot more than you think.  He pulled his folder of work to himself and at least looked like he started to work. Finally, I had some peace to work with my other students. He looked self-sufficient, so I went on doing my job. About 20 minutes later, I look over to his table and ask, “Mike, how are you doing?” He doesn’t answer. He’s just sitting there leaning forward over his work, staring it at. I get up, only slightly frustrated and angry. I assume my previous position, staring at the back of his head as I stood over him. I said slowly and sternly: “Mike, you need to do your work! You haven’t even done anything! Mike, I-“

I was cut short as I saw over his shoulder tears falling on his folder. I asked if he was okay. He said no and I asked why. He told me it was because of what I said. Ouch. I apologized to him for having not been sensitive to the way he was or what he was going through and just blindly going the stern, rough, “bad cop” routine. I thanked him for once more reminding me that there wasn’t just one singular formula to dealing with kids, but we have to wisely play off of who they are. I told him that he had helped teach me a lesson that would make me a better father someday. Later I found out that he actually is gay. God only knows the ridicule and frustration he goes through that I had just added to. We got him some tissues, I asked for his forgiveness, he gave it, and that was it.

But it wasn’t. Thinking about it later, I realized something: I had been giving him the bad news of the Gospel. On account of being sinful humans, we all so crave relief from the abiding sense of guilt and shame inherent to us. We do this by finding our approval and security in things and people we can see and measure. This is just psychological language for idol worship. We worship and make idols out of things less than God because we think those things can give us what we feel God cannot. Mike had placed his security and identity in what others said about him. So whenever that is challenged by a passing word or name, he feels like this is a challenge to the very system he has placed his faith in. He cannot let that “sin against him” pass without responding in “just” and “righteous” wrath against the transgressor. We can’t judge Mike too harshly. I hope we see the more “mature” ways we do this as adults.

But there is truth in what Mike was doing. Transgressions are first relational. We feel personally hurt and impacted when people act in a negative way towards whatever it is we have put our faith in. Secondly, transgression always demands a response. Sin does not just exist in a vacuum. It exists in a system – a relational system – that doesn’t “feel right” when there is no just response for evil. That’s why Mike couldn’t just let those words of ridicule go. So here’s the essence of the bad news I was giving Mike: you have placed your security, identity, and – ultimately – your trust and faith in something so far lesser than what they were intended to be placed in. Your every thought, motive, desire, and act is geared towards everything else but God, namely your own security and affirmation. At some level, I think Mike’s soul heard this, and it broke and felt the pain and hurt of true accusations at his wicked heart. The bad news really is bad news.

But it’s not the only news. If this same thing had happened at the tutoring program in Richmond, I would have been able to tell Mike the flip-side: Yes, you are that bad. Yes, you should cry – you should hurt. And what’s even worse, you can’t change yourself from doing this. But, God has found it to be his pleasure – His delight – to do for you what you could not do for yourself: to live that life that places it’s whole trust, security, and identity in Who God is. That life that could let anyone say or do anything to him because he knew that those transgressions spoken and done against him would in fact receive a just retribution. The life that was free to obey, free to worship, free to love God in joy and peace. The life of Jesus Christ. And what’s more, he died the death that you deserve to die for your improper worship of things and people rather than God. And when you believe that yes, you really are that evil; and trust that yes, He really is that good; then both that life and death are credited to you, so you can experience and taste a growing degree of that life of Christ lived out in your own while heading towards a climax only to be known and fully enjoyed in ages to come.  A consummation he has promised to get you to.

But, unfortunately, Mike doesn’t live in Richmond, and he isn’t a part of the Youth Life Foundation, so I couldn’t tell him this, no matter how much I wanted to. If you’re inspired to, pray for Mike. Ultimately his salvation doesn’t rest in my words of rebuke or encouragement, but in the Sovereign God I love and serve, who reveals Himself even in the most mundane of interactions.

I can’t let this not be shared

/ Paul Burkhart / 5 Comments

On my new favorite website, Patrol Magazine, I stumbled upon this amazing interview with poet and professor of Creative Writing at State University of New York, Joe Weil.  He talk to Patrol magazine about poetry, his relationship with God, art, and his other variosu thoughts on life.  As I’ve read the article, I keep finding more and mroe quotes that I am throwing all over my facebook profile, blogs, and such.  Well, it got to be so many, I’m just going to put them all here.  This man is amazing, and I intend to buy as many of his books of poetry as I can.  I resonate so much with all that he says.  Please read the entire interview if you can.  Finally, also bookmark Patrol Magazine.  It really is incredible.  Here are my favorite highlights:

Art is self-indulgence that, if done well, with a good grasp of the craft, and with a sense of constructive dread, ends up serving others. Of course, you can’t predict how it will serve them. . . A poet must be faithful to his or her obsessions. . . The wrong kind of self indulgence is that which puts the artist or his cause ahead of the work. Poets must be both supremely arrogant and humble. Arrogant enough to commit an act of creation. Humble enough to get out of the way of their own work, and let it be whatever it really is.

I once described faith as something I got on my shoe and can’t kick or wash off. I’m stuck with it. My poems are the trespasses and blasphemies of a malpracticing Christian, one who can’t stop ogling an attractive leg, or wanting to be first, who is venial, foolish, seldom at peace, horny and lonely, and so far from the kingdom of God that his whole life becomes the theme of that distance, someone knowing he is in deep shit. It’s the perfect place to be, where you can’t fool yourself into thinking you’re on the right track

I love God, not the idea of God. I hate the idea of God. Ideas are pretty, and neat, and well-formed, and my poems insist that I love God only by my pratfalls and mistakes. The only thing I have to offer God is my sins. I am interested in mercy when it appears in places where you would never expect it. I am interested in love that shovels shit against the tide. I am interested in grace.

I am wrestling with God because I consider God a worthy opponent. . . We have to remember God has the gravitas. God is the dignity. We’re the comic relief. Piety must be challenged. Purity must be tested, or it becomes smugness, and we start to think we have it all figured out. It’s like a marriage where you know exactly how the weekly sex is going to start. It both comforts and kills love in the worst way. My faith informs my confusions. My confusions lead to discoveries in poems my certainties could never find. Faith is not certainty. Certainty is the death of thought.

It is better to be annihilated and crushed by God, if you are in love with God, then it is to have no relationship at all. Better God smite you then merely be absent. God does not “tolerate” me. God loves me. . . A man may call God out and test all purity because it is better than the ultimate hell of complete disengagement.

God allows us to kick and scream in our tantrums and pains until we fall exhausted at the foot of our cross. And then God picks us up and we realize this was all we wanted to begin with, to be held by, and bound fast to him: “Bind me Lord, lest I resist. We resist because we are bound. Our resistance becomes the first sign of our birth pain. . . The peace of a Christian must be a sort of ongoing ferocity—a refusal to let go until the birthright has been truly won, until the blessing has been given. Brokeness is the first condition for receiving grace. Light can’t penetrate an unbroken surface. God enters through the broken heart, not the smug one.

A poem that can be reduced to its ideas is probably not a very good poem. It must be uttered fully. It must be lived on its own terms, the language must be forgiven for being language, then it must be language with all its might. Meaning, content are not the aim but the reward, the grace of a poem being faithful to its own organic process.

Thank you for reading all this (if you have) and I hope it has benefited you.

psalm33|18-22 {a prayer}

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

“Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.  Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.  For our heart is glad in him, because we trust his holy name.  Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”
— Psalm 33:18-22

Our hope is only in your steadfast love O Lord.  I can be in nothing else, O God.  This is about you and me – you and me.  I need your Gospel  I need your Gospel.  In this Psalm, famine comes after deliverance.  Help me through the famine, through the weakness.  So I may further trust and hope only in You, Your love, Your faithfulness, and not my own!  My spirit is so willing, but my flesh is so weak!! So weak.  Strengthen my spirit Lord.  Take all of me.  It’s yours already, I know.  Exert Your rightful reign and authority in me to Your Glory.  Oh, Your Glory.  It is so sweet to my lips to say.  Glory.  Glory.  Glory. I need You.  Help me survive in the famine.  You will.  You’ve promised it, so it must be so.  My faith must be in that which is the only guarantee of it’s occurrence in Your Word.  My salvation, redemption, regeneration, and glorification – ALL things I do not wrought upon myself.  That’s how my faith must be in You.  Help me wait for You, because I am glad in You, because I trust You, because Your love is upon me.  David’s last plea is that Your effectual love would make this be.  It is mine as well.  Come.

Meditations on the Village Church, Matt Chandler, & my Heart

/ Paul Burkhart / 4 Comments

I knew I’d be proven wrong. I ended up meeting and seeing perhaps my biggest living hero this past weekend. Matt Chandler, of the Village Church in Dallas, TX was the means by which God stirred it in me to go to seminary; he was the means by which God started forming my preaching style; he was the means by which a bulk of my ministry philosophy was formed. In short, much of my life as it is now is because of this man’s faithfulness and how God has formed me to resonate with it. I’m in Dallas for a week to see family, so I went to a service at the Village Church this morning.

Being one of the fastest growing churches in America, I thought it wise to get there as early as possible. The service was at 9am, and I ended up getting there at about 8:15. My brother and I were the first ones there to the church, save for a few people setting up Communion. We actually got to the building the same time Chandler did. We walked up to the doors from the parking lot with Chandler, coffee in hand, and made some small talk. I told him I was from Westminster, had met their Counseling pastor at the CCEF Conference last month, and that I went to Eric Mason’s church. He apparently has a great relationship with my Philadelphia pastor, so he continued some of our brief conversation – now having made our way into the sanctuary – about Philly and Pastor Mason (or E-Mase, as Chandler called him). I thanked him for how the Church has ministered to me (trying not to seem like “that guy” though I’m sure I sort of did). He appreciated it, but then a congregant intercepted him for sound check business. Our “meeting” was over.

One of the overarching refrains of his sermon was: “you are not as smart as you think you are.” This was evident this morning as I realized that the sanctification I observed in my previous post is still in progress. For those that missed it (or just don’t feel like reading it), I talked about how I have historically idealized my heroes so much that it influences way more about me than it should. I wrote how in recent weeks, God has been disillusioning me about these men, so that I am “becoming my own man” as it seems.

Well, it wasn’t until halfway through the second song of the worship service I realized just how frustrated I was that I wasn’t able to get a good picture of both the worship set and Chandler praying! I wasn’t able to pay attention in any sort of capacity, much less actually meditate and see God’s beauty and sufficiency. I was restless at heart determined to find the images that would build myself up in others’ eyes and so put my security once more in people. As the blinders were rudely pulled off my eyes to my own immaturity and wrong worship, I was brought to one of those moments of self reflection where you’re almost ashamed to be in our Father’s presence. Where the sin in the deepest recesses of your heart is exposed to the light and it hurts. At the same time, though, Michael Bleeker started an original song about how our joy and security is in the wrath of God being poured out on Christ. I was then free. At least for the moment, my sin was plunged into the glorious wrath-consuming righteousness-imputing grace of God. Oh, the worship that comes from the heart that sees its own weakness and sin held as the backdrop against the display of the cross!

The rest of the service was amazing. No more pictures, no more video, no more angst about being able to “prove” that I have more “connections” than others. For those few moments at least, the grace of God so allowed me to be divorced from my lust for human esteem, my addiction to have others see me as someone worth being around. And I was able to worship God with all of myself in singing, prayer, and meditation on the clear communication and faithful preaching of His Word. In short, this morning was amazing. I’m really starting to wonder if God’s ultimately calling me to Dallas.

I love this church, I love its ministry, and I love my God.

So, please, I beg of all of you. Everyone that knows me. Everyone that reads this disjointed post. As often as the grace of God inspires you to remember. Always remind me: I am definitely not as smart as I think I am, but the cross of Christ is wholly gracious and sufficient in spite of that. It is in that gospel statement my greatest sin and greatest hope are held before my gaze both for His Glory and my joy.

Ah, what a good day . . .

Severe Mercy

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

This song has been my obsession this past couple of weeks as I round out my first semester in seminary.  I hope it stirs you as well.

The Cut by Jason Gray

My heart is laid
Under Your blade
As you carve out Your image in me
You cut to the core
But still you want more
As you carefully, tenderly ravage me

And You peel back the bark
And tear me apart
To get to the heart
Of what matters most
I’m cold and I’m scared
As your love lays me bare
But in the shaping of my soul
They say the cut makes me whole

Mingling here
Your blood and my tears
As You whittle my kingdom away
But I see that you suffer, too
In making me new
For the blade of Love, it cuts both ways

And You peel back the bark
And tear me apart
To get to the heart
Of what matters most
I’m cold and I’m scared
As your love lays me bare
But in the shaping of my soul
They say the cut makes me whole

Hidden inside the grain
Beneath the pride and pain
Is the shape of the man
You meant me to be
Who with every cut now you try to set free

CHORUS…
…With everyday
You strip more away
And You peel back the bark
And tear me apart
To get to the heart
Of what matters most
I’m cold and I’m scared
As your love lays me bare
But in the shaping of my soul
The blade must take it’s toll
So God give me strength to know
That the cut makes me whole

Mark Nicks of Cool Hand Luke

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

Anyone that knows me well knows that my favorite band is Cool Hand Luke.  They have had this title since about my sophomore year of high school and it seems that their musical stylings have matured along with my musical tastes, leading me to love them all the more through the years.  Anyway, I saw them play a show in Newport News last night and it was absolutely incredible.  Mark Nicks, the lead singer/songwriter of the band stopped before the last song to talk for a bit and ended up preaching this seventeen minute-long sermonette that touches on everything from politics to current church trends.  Usually, bands talking for a while can get annoying, but this was awesome.  He’s so humble in what he says and so right at the same time.  So, I decided to post this up for everyone else to hear as well.

Click here for Mark’s “Sermon”

_

The Purposeful God of Eternity

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

Tonight on a midnight ride to Williamsburg, God changed my life yet again. How? With this realization: God does all things in us primarily for an eternal purpose before he ever does them for a temporal one.

The “things” God does “in us” refers to pretty much everything: How we feel in a given situation, what we think, what we desire, our temptations, our struggles, our blessings, our joys, our pains, our purification, everything.

I realized tonight that this means that when anyone asks God, “Why?” about anything, there is a possibility of three responses from God; two for the non-Christian and one for the Christian. To the non-Christian he answers either (1) to draw you closer to me, or (2) to further condemn you so your eventual condemnation is just. To the Christian God’s answer is always (3) “to make you holy.”

(1) is pretty obvious. God will put people through a lot of crap sometimes and cause feelings and desires to both come and fall away in order to bring them to him.

(2) is a little harder to swallow, but true nonetheless. God is determined to be just. He will not condemn those not worthy to be condemned, and he has committed himself to showing those not his elect that their condemnation is just (Romans 1:20 , 1: 26-27, 3:5-8). My primary Biblical support for this is in Genesis 15:16. In the context, God is laying out the conditions of his covenant with Abraham. He will punish so-and-so people and give him so-and-so land, and so on and so forth. But at the very end of these covenant promises, God makes a very interesting statement. He says that the final fulfillment of these promises will be delayed. He says, “And they [Abraham’s descendants] shall come back here in the fourth generation, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete.” God delayed the destruction of the people occupying the promised land and delayed His people entering it because the Amorite’s iniquity had not reached the level of deserving that wrath, thus he refrained so that their condemnation was just and He was justified in their destruction. So he does with some non-believers in Christ.

Anyway, (3) is what changed my entire perspective on God, me, and sanctification. We are generally presented with a certain situation that has pain and we begin to do what? Worry about the future and how it will resolve itself. God told me tonight that the resolution in the temporal to that situation is not the point. He gives (or allows us to feel [but if he’s all powerful, then “allowing” is just the same as “willing]) emotions both good and bad to us, and their effect in the temporal is not the point. God is preparing all of us for Eternity! No matter where we will end up in eternity, His every act toward us is to prepare us further for that end. I’ll repeat that:

No matter where we will end up in eternity, His every act toward us is to prepare us further for that end, both Christians and non-Christians.

So what does this process look like? I ask God “why do I feel this way?” He says, “to make you holy.” I say, “well, how will it end up?” He says, “It doesn’t matter. This all has eternal ramifications to it before it ever has temporal ones – THAT’S the primary point; don’t worry about the temporal – worry about how this is preparing you and those around you for eternity after these temporal things fall away.”

I don’t know about anyone else, but this gives me the key to entering into God’s rest in this life, no matter what comes your way. Being able to step back and see things from an eternal perspective rather than zooming in a focusing on the temporal creates a peace and a rest from faith that can only come from God.

No more worrying necessary, for the things I go through now are to prepare me and make me worthy for His Coming; to make sure He fulfills His commitment to me to make me His spotless Bride. Whatever temporal things that come about are merely part of the ride.

in Him,

–paul

p.s. – I’m still processing all this and have yet to actually spend a day with this perspective and see how this practically works out. I don’t really know what will happen outwardly if anything. We’ll see. I’ll keep you up to date. Now I’m off to slumber into my said first day with new perspective.

Damascus

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

A troubled heart troubled still as I walk in the valley of the shadow of death but Im the shadow of that valley as I strike them with one rod while another comforts them why wont they die as I strike them with My Left as your right upholds them all Ill kill them inhale Ill kill them exhale Ill kill them inhale so on and so forth I walk as the dust of My sandals covers their face while Mine is clean Mine is pristine following none but MySelf on this dusty Damascus road and
then—

a Light . . .
i’m Yours . . .

an Emanating Illumination
eliminating all i thought i knew.
a Light i’ll see no more until
i see Your Face again.

There-

in that Place where every taste
is satisfied;
every desire fully known,

and consummation here,
but until such appointed time
i wait . . .

and endure . . .

a darkness, a pain, a thorn:
a longing for the Light
that keeps me running-
keeps me racing.

a longing for the Light . . .
a longing for the Sight

that took mine,

but left me not in darkness
then, now, and nevermore.

The Bondage of the Will: An Exhortation to all Christendom

/ Paul Burkhart / 5 Comments

anastasis-resurrection-dead-hell
This post will primarily be a response to Tyler’s comment that the previous post on this site consisted of. A brief historical investigation surrounding the context of the piece I stole the title for this post from may help shed light on the passion I hope will come through.

[One quick note as a final point on the topic of the biases of the religious studies department at VCU: there is not a single full-time professor that is a professing Christian. All full-time professors in the religious studies department are either secular humanists or of other differing faiths.]

I want to put one more quote from Tyler on this post:

In reference to the other guy who posted here, Paul is an incredible orator and debater. He quite regularly makes atheists his unholy bitches on the record. He’s as committed to his faith as Stephen was, but he is smart enough to take you through an interesting dive into Judaism. His site can link you to some of the best arguments against the Bible on the face of the Earth, but the man is such an intellectual juggernaut that he builds a scaffold around the detractors, prays and then floats his way to the top.

The night I received this comment, I went to bed with the words “intellectual juggernaut” haunting my thoughts until I fell into my slumber. Sure, to an extent I was both flattered and encouraged by these words, but for the most part, I was deeply troubled and dismayed. I knew then that I needed to write this post.

This is to all Christians out there: I have known Tyler for over a year now, and consider him a dear friend and compatriot on this path called life. As he himself said in the comment, though, he is not a Christian, as most of my friends also seem to not be. We have had many, many talks. I have answered so many, many questions, read so many, many bible verses to him and for him and yet, he is not a Christian. Why?

It is true. I know a lot. I make it my business to know as much as I can about everything. I can theorize, postulate, formulate, philosphize, orate, debate, lecture, and preach with the best of them. I have read much, spoken much, debated much, and thought much. I can present the peculiar doctrines of the Christian faith in such form that little can stand up against it. I am indeed by all measures, forms, and fashions, an “intellectual juggernaut,” but what good has it done for Tyler? His soul now rests in the same state now that it did over a year ago. I have answered every question, withstood every refutation, stood in rooms surrounded on all sides by people differing in their beliefs from me in every way, shape, and form seeking only to see my demise, with him watching. I have presented the gospel in every way, with every scientific, psychological, historical, rhetorical, literary, philosophical, archaeological and spiritual backing, and to what end? None. As of yet.

My point in this whole post can be summed up thus: Christian, facts don’t save people, debates don’t save people, arguments don’t save people, intellects don’t save people, orators don’t save people, sermons don’t save people, philosophies and refutations don’t save people, nor do “intellectual juggernauts.” The Gospel of God by the power of the Holy Spirit through the atonement of Jesus Christ saves people. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.” (Rom. 1:16)

This Gospel of God has become so sweet and so precious to me in past year and a half, it pains me to see the affections of one I love so dearly, not turned to the only source of true delight in the midst of the inevitable sufferings life will bring. That is the Gospel. While we were yet sinners not seeking God, unrighteous not because of acts, but because of being; by nature children of wrath, who awoke every morning without God being their first thought, highest treasure, primary desire, most awe-inspiring thing, he sought us. He came and lived the life we were supposed to live and paid the price for the life we live now, so that those whose spiritual taste-buds are changed to have God and Christ be their sweetest desire, could be forever enthralled by Him, like 10, 000 sights of the supernova or the grand canyon. Not so that they could be delivered from pain and in that get joy and rest, but be given God Himself as our joy and rest so we can tread through the fires that all humans go through, not as a coping mechanism, but as a new being, rejoicing in all God gives them, good and bad.

Tyler, as I know you will read this, hear this: you are a vulgar, disgusting, evil man who has not only broken all the commandments of an eternal Creator, but also does not desire God, seek God, long for the grace of God to resurrect your dying soul and quench that eternal spiritual thirst for His life you know you need every time you ponder your life in the dark hours of the night before you sleep. Yet, though all this is true, God has found it to be His delight; His delight!; to see one such as yourself brought near to Him and have your affections changed so as to long for Him and receive Him as your joy and peace and happiness, that His “joy may be made complete in you,” that you may magnify his glory in this earth.

How can I say this with such confidence? Everything I just said is the story of my life. It is the story for every Christian walking this planet. It is the state of every Christian, at the point in their lives that their souls are called upon to see the revealed grace of God extended to them, to make them “white as snow,” and the make the only decision they possibly can: to long for God, and in that overflow want to obey Him. This is the Gospel that Jesus lived, breathed, and died. This is the Gospel that has saved every Christian since the dawn of time, from Abraham in Ur to Paul Burkhart in Richmond, VA to perhaps, Tyler Bass.

In summary, Christians, preach the Gospel, preach the Gospel, preach the Gospel! That is the only thing that can bring those we love to the only source and fountain of joy, peace,love, and rest they will ever desire, not our facts or knowledge.

Be not discouraged if you have not read every Lee Stroebel, Josh MacDowell, or C.S. Lewis book. Don’t feel useless or not “relevant” if people don’t call you an “intellectual juggernaut,” because those words will only haunt you as you realize the futility of all man’s wisdom, even that which defends God. How even that wisdom is only as good as God uses it to be. So desire that knowledge, seek it, but rely not upon it, for it is not the power of God for the salvation of all peoples. Only the sovereign work of God and the Holy Spirit can do that. So, preach what the Bible calls the “foolishness of God!” I mean, our savior died! According to the unChristian world, where’s the wisdom in that. It only goes to show you how this could not have been just “made up” by man. No human could ever come up with such a foolish story for a faith.

Only God could establish a story for redemption that was so wise beyond the perceptual framework of man that man would just have to push it off to the side and call it weakness and foolishness, when it has brought empires to their knees, for it is the power of God for the salvation of all those called to be His for His glory.

“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given Him a gift that he might be repaid? For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things. To Him be glory for ever. Amen.”
–Romans 11:34-36

Regarding the seemingly bold statements made above about myself and my gifts. Christians, take note. I say all that in the Spirit of Paul when he said, “by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” (1 Cor. 15:10) All that I have done, said, and lived before Tyler has not been I, but the grace of God within me. I take no credit for the gifts given to me, but I will in no way demean them for the sake of a post-modern misconception of what humility is. I have great gifts, but they are not of myself, nor for myself. They are for the glory of God for the joy of all peoples.

Tyler’s comments

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

Tyler wrote the following comment in response to my last post entitled “Engagement.” For some unknown reason, it is not showing up on the site, so to respect his thoughts, I’m posting it up. Also, my next post will be based on this; especially the last full paragraph. So enjoy; and, don’t worry, once exams are over, I will put the new post on the Psychotheology blog.
——————————————————————————-

I see what you mean about the religious studies department teaching fewer Christian courses here at VCU than Eastern Religion courses, but I guess at square one is more students’ knowledge of the Bible, the basic tenets of Christianity.

Christianity may not exactly be pop culture push-out fodder, but most people in the country (and the West for that matter) are familiar with the religion around here.

This bias is not simply limited to one against your beliefs, but also the English degree’s requirement and somewhat preference for “exotic” language classes. I still have to smack on some Caribbean literature courses.

Sure, fewer professed Christians teach Christianity here. However, the goal in even the Christian classes is to study peoples’ conception of God. After all, there’s always that personal Jesus stuff: someone to be your friend, someone whose there. I ask you to consider if more often Muslims teach Islam or if Taoists teach Taoism. I know of only two exclusively Islam-teaching professors here, and one is a Muslim unorthodox enough to recieve death threats and the other is a humanist.
I do not believe in the divinity of Christ, but I believe I understand, can relate to, and by moved to action by many facets of Christian philosophy and worldview.
In reference to the other guy who posted here, Paul is an incredible orator and debator. He quite regularly makes atheists his unholy bitches on the record. He’s as committed to his faith as Stephen was, but he is smart enough to take you through an interesting dive into Judaism. His site can link you to some of the best arguments against the Bible on the face of the Earth, but the man is such an intellectual juggernaut that he builds a scaffold around the detractors, prays and then floats his way to the top.

Any publishers out there, print this guy now, if just so I can write down his points to keep track of them.