Salvation

Engagement

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

Just recently, I got an interesting comment in response to my new blog on “Psychotheology.” Here, I wish to engage with that comment and provide some thoughts on the matter. Marc said the following, separated into the following outline by myself for help in responding:

(1) The only place something like this would ever be taught is in a seminary school or a private christian college.
(2) I am not a religious person, but I understand how religious thinking encompases every facet of your life, this just isn’t the way to attain higher learning in a non biased place such as a public university.
(3) The psychology of religion is taught, but you can’t create a branch like the one you’re talking about, it has inherently far too many biases. A private christian school will obviously ignore these biases.
(4) If you ever do complete your book I will not read it as I already disagree with the basic premise (and don’t give me that “you’re being closed minded” crap, you wouldn’t read a book on the psychology of man’s relationship to the God Thor because you would think it was just as rediculous)
(5) but in any case I wish you the best of luck in your research and getting such a thing published.

In response to point (1), my original primary intention was not for the topic to necessarily be a course to be taught, just more of a philosophical treatise people could approach, discuss, ponder, engage with, argue with, burn, or accept as truth – whatever they so desired. But, now that you mention it, one of my passions is teaching and this would certainly be fun to teach. Of course, this works on the assumption that I am able to figure out a systematic enough of an approach that this could be done at all. If I am led to teach in the university setting, though, I don/t think I would go to a christian school or seminary. Seminaries already have courses such as “Religion as Applied to Psychology,” and “Biblical Counseling.” The only difference with mine is that I hope Psychotheology would be used more as an apologetic (defense of God) approach. I was actually thinking about this today. It seems when it comes to the discussion of God, there are three grounds on which the battle is fought: scientific (the world out there), philosophical (the world up there), and psychological (the world in us). Extensive attention has been given in the past 15 years or so to the scientific realm (one can reference the links to the side, anything by Lee Stroebel or Josh McDowell, or just ask me and I will answer it to the best of my ability). Specific attention has also been given to the philosophical realm by masterpieces such as C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity,” or the works of Soren Kierkegaard (whom I disagree with on many theological points, but nonetheless defends Christianity philosophically). I believe there has been a neglect in the area of psychological defenses of God, which I hope to attempt to fill. This defense has historically been left not to psychologists, but rather to theologians and mystics such as St. Augustine and Karl Rahner who either base all their views on subjective personal experience or by tailoring the psychological views of other famous psychologists to “fit” Christianity. I hope to wipe the slate clean of these and just start with the human mind.

2 – My first response is to wonder if there is such a thing as a “non-biased” university anywhere, secular or Christian. I know personally that my university is very, very secular, humanistic, and liberal in every way, shape, and form. In the religious studies department alone, such attention is given to “diversity” that if you add together biblical studies along with all general religion classes (such as World Religions, Ethics and Religion, and Psychology and the Religious Experience), that total would be less than than the classes dedicated to any ONE other religious studies concentration. In other words, there are more classes dedicated wholly to just Eastern Religions than there is to all Biblical Studies classes and General Religion classes COMBINED. Also, on staff, in the entire department, there are only TWO professing Christian professors actually teaching Biblical courses of any kind. The rest are taught by non-Christians. This wouldn’t be a problem except these two professors ONLY teach Christian courses. You dont find Chirstians teaching other religions as you do find other religions teaching Christianity.
Also, I do not consider myself a “religious” person either. Religion is the social construct comprised of rules, regualtions, punishments; it’s the “establishment.” I am not a part of that. I am part of the “family” that is comprised of all believers. To me, “the church” is not supposed to be a building, but a group of believing Christians, wherever they may be. Religion says, “I obey what God wants, therefore I am accepted by God.” I say (and the Bible says), “I am accepted by God, therefore I desire to obey.” Very different.
On your last point, I remember the president of the Honors Program at this University speaking to us Honors students upon my first week at University. He said the primary difference between lower education and higher education was that “lower education strives regurgitation of knowledge by the student, whereas higher education strives for creation of knowledge by the student.” That is what I am doing. Taking my life experience, knowledge (both biblical and secular), and observations and trying to create knowledge and fill a void that exists. That is higher education.

3 – The fact that ther are so many types of seminaries and “private christian schools” shows how they do not ignore these biases. That is why I put out in the open every perspective I am coming from so everyone can view my words knowing my inherent biases, and thus take them as is, not fearing any hidden agendas. Also, any introductory psych course will show you that the enitre field of psychology is reigned by bias and preference. Justr a simple matter as how one views the nature of man will affect every component of one’s psycholgical theory including therapy, training, and communication style (one need only compare Freud to Carl Rogers). No field is completely void of biases, be it science, philosophy, art, medicine, or advertising; but beside that point, when did one’s preconcieved slant suddenly mean that what one said suddenly lost all authority. If we only sought out the words of those who were free of bias we would be a very knowledgeless people – the type that would use the word “knowledgeless” for example. I strive to not put the Bible through the filter of my bias, rather, I put my bias thourgh the filter of my Bible. Believing the Bible to be the inspired Word of God, means that if I make my bias the same as the bias that the Creator of the Universe onbiovusly has, I am on pretty authoritative and sound footing.

4 – First off, as I said in response to the priginal commment, I never use the whole “you have a close mind” cop out. I’d rather actually deal with whatever the real issue is at hand and potentially get messy. And actually, I have read up on the psychology of man’s relationship to ancient gods. I actually think Thor may have been one of the examples. It was from the perspective of explainign different views on the source of religious faith, be it in God or Zeus or Thor. It showed me that all through history man has had this inherent urge to worship one outside of himself. Now, most would see this as a crutch. People are afraid to die, so they believe in an afterlife; people are afraid of a purely random universe so they construct a big guy who can control everything. But, I ask you this: assuming that a Creator-God does exist that desires to have inimate personal fellowship with humans, how would you expect the psychologies of humans to be any different? If a God did exist, would man no longer ponder an afterlife? Would man suddenly not be most fulfilled when in union with the Creator of the Universe? Would he not desire, want, and need to lean on something (or Someone) more trustworthy, consistent, and strong than themselves? To put it in the words of C.S. Lewis: “How would one know the universe was meaningless if it really had no meaning?” Just like “how would we know that there was darkenss, without some knowledge of the existence of light?” Also, the Bible says that we are crippled and dead in our sin before an Almighty God. If I am crippled, I’m going to want a crutch to lean on. Lastly, maybe – just maybe – someone’s disbelief may be just as much of a psychological crutch to them as they think my belief in God is.

5 – Thank you, and Marc, if you do read this, I’m sorry I turned such a simple comment into such an extensive “treatise” of sorts. I can assure you, I realyl didn’t “snap” or get mad and angry at the words you spoke. They were very thougth provoking and provided a good outline to present some thoughts that had been running thorugh my head. I would love to know any thoughts, refutations, insults, mockeries, witicisms, or sincerities you may have toward what little you know of me, my blogs, my thoughts, or my faith. I would love to try and answer anything you write to the best of my ability, even if it is from the motive of pure interest, with no debate required. If you don’t mind, I’ll be praying for you and also, I’m sorry for any hurt you may have endured at the hands of Christians, Christianity, or the Church. I assure you, that is not the way true Christianity is supposed to be, and I wish to offer the idea to you that the
truth of a faith can stand independently of the actions of its supposed followers.

God Bless
–paul<

Wow.

/ Paul Burkhart / 4 Comments

Has it really been that long since I posted last? To anyone that does try to venture here on some semblance of a regular basis, I apologize. There have been several things getting in the way of it:

(1) School – Exams were recently. I found I pulled another 4.0 for the semester bringing my cumulative to 3.957. That darn single B!!!!
(2) Work – This has been huge. Because of it, I have lost every bit of a social life, especially the Christians I still hold so close in my heart but not in my life, it seems.
(3) God – This blog has generally been a place for me to share what God has been doing in my life. Well, one of the reasons I haven’t been posting is that God hasn’t been doing too much. Or rather, I haven’t been looking, I suppose, or doing my duty and discipline.

I’m having another spiritual slump, but it’s just more like weakness. I’m not steeped in sin over my head, or anything. It’s strange; God’s doing His part. He’s using me, moving me, working through me, even in spite of my lack of fellowship with him right now. I’m struggling a lot with doubt. A lot. I keep asking God for signs. I did always think this was wrong, until I looked thorugh John. MOst everybody in the book of John did not believe until, or only believed as a result of, a “sign” that Jesus did, so God has been telling me, I think, “dude, try Me.” I’ve told God, that I’m going to continue being faithful no matter what – no matter how crazy I think this all may be, no matter how rationalistic my mind starts becoming, no matter how much my faith dwindles, I WILL NOT stop just doing my duty and trusting God to pull through. I can’t. God has certainly seized me to the point that I am in His hand, and though He may give me up to periods of sin and faithlessness, I know He will never let me go. I am forever at his disposal to do with as he pleases. And he is.

You know what? This reminds me of the story of the Prodigal Son, or rather, the more accurate title should be the story of the Older Son. The MAIN point of that story is when Jesus looks over and uses it to tell the Pharisees (who were complaining about Jesus hanging out with sinners) the same thing the Father told his jealous oler son, “All that I have is yours! You could have been rejoicing and partying it up this entire time because you were here! And now, because you decided not to partake in my joy then of knowing you, you complain now that the sinner that has been forgiven IS taking advantage of it!”

I feel like the older son/pharisees. God has designed the Christian life to be simple: a reciprocal relationship where God’s ultimate joy is our ultimate joy and our ultimate joy is God’s ultimate joy. It’s kind of strange though, that as I stated above, God is working through me to HIS good pleasure. That means He is still working His will in and through me to His joy while I’m miserable. He keeps telling me, “Paul! Wake up, I’m having a party working in and though you! Come, partake in that with me and fellowship with me!” He is like the ghost of Christmas present: “Come and know me better, man!” That was a great random allusion.

Can it be that there is this huge storehouse of joy, satisfaction, and contentment just a bible page away? How foolish am I to wallow in the death, destruction, and melancholy of the flesh and world when God Himself holds his hand out to me in love, kindness, power, mercy, and grace, wanting only to share His joy with me, for “His joy is me strength.” Paul, Paul, Paul. At this point in your life when you NEED to be as intimate with God as possible, why do you resist like the foolish human you are? Take hold of the grace allotted to you, and rise up and be the man of God you were meant to be!!!

I shall end with the prayer I wrote in response to a meditation by John Piper about truly “loving” God:

“God,
I fear, I know I love you not as I should – as I need to. My zeal and dedication are there – and always with me. but love? Do I love thee with a fervor which compels my heart and mind and hands and soul and spirit to do only that which glorifies you? Frankly, no. What fear is it that binds my life in this seemingly stagnant state? Fear of being disappointed/disappointing to you and by you. There. I said it. Fan into flame the gift passed down to me from you. I feel you doing it. Continue doing it and make it hurt – to your glory and my joy be all things. I love you”

–<

thoughts as I sit under the skylight of my bedroom and it rains . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

God is a strange dude.

He is working something so deep within me, and it hurts so much, but I can’t see what He’s doing. I’ve never experienced this before, be it directly, or vicariously through someone else. It’s like a churning and burning deep deep within me and I can only see the fruits of it occasionally blip up into the natural world. I kinda see one’s relationship with God as a series of stairsteps; as you mature spiritually, you ascend the steps. I feel like right now, God has brought me to a step that is very tall and not as tall as any I have encountered before. In short, God is putting me through a spiritual maturation process that is so vital and so extensive, he has had to take it into His own hands. Does that make sense? (I’m sure it does to all of you good ol’ Charismatic Calvinists out there)

In any case, whenever God is doing something like this in one’s life, Satan takes this as a chance to bring upon someone His greatest attacks. Thus, this has resulted in making me once more what I seem to be more often than I would like to be: broken, weak, attacked, and (in a word) “unspiritual.” Now, don’t worry, I am not falling into that victim mindset that so many of us fall into. After that night at Church hill (see May 30, 2005 post “just read”), I don’t think I could ever feel so victimized by God and/or Satan as way too many Christians usually do. The American church seems to live in a world that thinks Satan is sovereign and God is fighting a losing battle! Most Christians wouldn’t actually say they believe this, but their actions (and their eschatology) scream this. There is NO condemnation in Christ. One truth that is very comforting but hard to accept that I’ve been dealing with a lot recently is the truth that upon accepting Christ into your life, you are both as close to and far away from God as you will ever be. If our “closeness” to God was based at all upon our actions, it would remove the necessity for his grace at all. I’ve said this before, but we as Christians no linger preach salvation by works, but we are obsessed by sanctification by works. Both are lies of the devil. They are BOTH workings of Christ and Christ alone, not contingent upon our actions, positive OR negative. I see so many people falling into this vicious cycle over and over again of condemnation, stumbling, failure, condemnation, stumbling, and so on and so forth. The issue is we still think it’s a work of our own. Sure we have a responsibility, but the power and ability to make us into Christ’s image falls on God, not us. He “molds us,” and “purges us,” and “causes us to walk in His statutes.”

The issue is Lordship; how much we accept the sovereignty, power, and authority of God in our lives so that He can mold us as he pleases. All we need to do is submit, and allow Him to work by staying in the Word, in worship, and in fellowship with other believers. If we focus on GOD, not our sin, HE does everything else. As stated above, the real issue is Lordship. In that case, I have arrived at my small little platform for the evening. I am convinced the primary reason we struggle with Lordship is that we think we began the process of it. A couple of unfortunate cliches show this:

“I made Jesus Lord of my life”
— Really? I am sure He appreciates YOU making HIM Lord over something as if it wasn’t His in the first place.

“I found Jesus”
— Really? He was lost?

“Make a decision for Jesus Christ today”
— 1 Corinthians 2:14; “The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.”

We (before salvation) are not ABLE to choose to accept the things of God, including salvation. There must be an effectual change by God in our very wills that causes us to draw near to Him and accept His word which will then build faith within us. If you followed what I said, then you will see the great mystery of this: HE affects our wills to give us the ability to choose that which we could not choose before, but the very work that he does to give us the ability to choose compels us in such a way to choose Him, there is no way a human being can not choose him if He has worked upon them in this way.

On my last little note, This one truth, though I only spent a short time backing it up and explaining it is the foundation to all things in Scripture. Upon being asked his name, God said that his name was “Yahweh, the Lord” (Exodus 3). Of all his attributes, that which he chose to present as His proper personal name was that of LORD. This should not discourage but rather encourage us. The very fact that He is in Lordship over all things should be the one rock upon we which we build all other things. When we realize salvation, sanctification, evangelism, discipleship, worship, spiritual disciplines, etc. are all nothing more than the natural outflow of our extended realization of Christ’s Lordship in our lives, it makes the Christian life so much more confident, stable, and victorious. So here is my advice to all of broken, bereaved, downtrodden, weak brothers and sisters out there:

Focus on God, not your sin, and He will take care of the rest. We have the victory over every kind of sin and evil power on this earth, we just need to realize and take a hold of it. The fact that “all authority in heaven and earth has been given to [Jesus]” (Matthew 28:18) is the realization that will set us free to do his will and finally get out minds and focuses off of ourselves and on where Christ commissioned them to be: on the world and the nations therein. So, let’s come together, body of Christ, in unity and power to set the nations free and stop worrying about our own little bit of sanctification, because we are as close to God now as we will ever be.

“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming our Lord Jesus Christ. he who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.” – Jude 24-25

God Bless as always,

–Paul<

p.s. – I will expound on the events that transpired this evening that brought about these musings at a later time, for neither the length of this post nor the time allow me to do so at this time.

p.p.s. – I must say, squeezable jelly is one of the greatest inventions ever, but the grape is too runny, and the strawberry is not runny enough.

p.p.p.s. – “Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:26. hey, you can’t argue with the word of God.

Peace, Peace

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

The hard followed by
The soft . . .
Then the long . . .
The pleasant crescendo of the hard.
Ending on the candle going out (“ps”)
Coming full circle once more.

“Perhaps” is the most beautiful word in the world.

Possibility, room to grow.
Ambiguity, all we know,
For now we look as in a tarnished mirror
But then we will know fully.
Until then, what can be achieved?

“Perhaps” is the most beautiful word in the world.

Depraved, Deprived, De-prosed
The human condition not fallen
Rather plunged to abyss.
Redemption our only chance,
But who can save oneself from drowning?
Can salvation come when it’s against one’s nature?

“Perhaps” is the most beautiful word in the world.

Now sanctified, glorified, satisfied, beside you,
Inside your glory.
Wide-eyed to the sin inside I’ve died to
in your name.
Then one lost is now one found
Wanting to worship, praise, adore, please, obey, trust, honor, love, sacrifice, just be
for the mere fact of who He is. Nothing more. Nothing else needed.

From the state I was can I please an infinite being?
Be made into His likeness?
Be molded to his purpose?
Commune with him forever?
Let him become my satisfaction above all,
pleasure beyond pleasures,
joy of joys?
Can His joy really be made my strength?

“Perhaps” is indeed the most beautiful word in the world.

Selah

just read

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

I couldn’t think of any non-cliche title for this post, hence the simple interrogative imperative (is that even a possible grammatical construct?). If anyone even considers reading this whole post, I encourage you to do so. It’s really not as long as it seems seeing as there are many quotes that take up a lot of space.

Any Christian out there knows that the Christian life is dynamic to say the least. The campus minister from my church is currently with many others from my church in Latvia doing missions work. We’ve exchanged a few E-Mails mainly about me mowing his lawn, but on the most recent E-Mail, I ended with this P.P.S.:

P.P.S. – On a personal note; Ryan, I need your prayers so badly. Today was one of the worst days of my life. Nothing huge huge occurred it was just the entire day was just BAD. On my way to work I got into an accident (nothing too serious), was at fault, got a ticket, the other guy involved said his arm was hurt (possibly broken), and I had the worst customers I have ever had as a waiter. Add on top of that I am so distant from God. I am becoming more and more worldlier everyday and am falling deeper and deeper into lust,worry, and my new sin that I never thought I’d fall into: DOUBT. The thoughts of whether all this (God, Holy Spirit giftings, salavation,etc.) is real or if everything I experience with the Holy Spirit is all emotional and made up within my head. The thoughts come and go ever so slightly and silently, but they are there nonetheless and I have never gone through it before. My soul feels like it is reeling and I am being attacked by so much all around me and everything but God has control over me. I haven’t read God’s word in days, and the last time I did, it was completely dead to me for the first time that I can remember. You know, I don’t even know why I am complaining; I know exactly how to get out of this, I’m just not doing it. All I can ask for is your prayers, Ryan. I feel so alone, restless, bereaved,downtrodden, lost, confused, and directionless. Each day I feel weighted down more and more with the further realization of my carnality and sinfulness. Everything is starting to fall apart all around me in my life, and I’ve just let it happen. I am so tired, so weak. I want to pray for you guys so bad, and I’ve tried, but I just feel like I’m spouting words – that’s it! Dead lifeless words that really mean nothing. I know you have so many things in your life to worry about, and you are on a missions trip,but just please do it. I need that strength. Sorry for being so unoriginally whiney. I’m sorry if I unintentionally put too big or distracting a burden on your shoulders with this. Just stay the course and do what you’re there to do.

That was probably last Saturday or so. Last Sunday I went to my church’s evening service still feeling this way. Before I walked in, I sat in my car and prayed to God to break me and do whatever was needed to get me where he wanted me to be. And let’s just say he did; big time. I’m not saying there was any completely life shaking truths revealed or that I realized I wasn’t saved, or I rededicated my life to Christ; we just had some good time together. After the normal sermon, the visiting pastor felt led by God to open the altar for prayer for anyone needing some for issues about there parents. It was so random and perfect (see the long post before the most previous short post) it could only have been God. I got prophesied over and really felt God’s reassuring nature over me and my life. God just showed me that he is still here.

After the service, I went to Church Hill in downtown Richmond, a hill that over looks the enitre city of Richmond (it is the best view in Richmond). I took my Bible out there and just had son Father/Son time with my only real “Daddy” (as I’ve so aptly started calling Him). It was then for the first time that I truly felt that adoption that takes place when one recieves Christ; when you are seen as truly one of God’s children. He led me to Psalm 63:

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped.”

I realized just how desperate I have been for God, and how He has answered that desperation: He has answered it with the very thing he promised to His belivers in His Word – more of Him. Man, He’s incredible. There is no way all this isn’t real. I’m reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote: “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” Because I am a Christian, I take for granted all the things God has provided me and how He has shown Himself to be real. This is because the Christian life by definition is constant fellowship with the Creator of the universe. It’s sad to say, but this almost becomes too “normal” and “everyday” for some Christians and they forget all that they can see, sense, feel, know, do, and experience that non-Christians just can’t, or rather, don’t. I think that’s why in so many Psalms David wrote when he was in spiritual pain, he says things like “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” David kind of gives this as the prescription of getting through times when it seems God has withdrawn His prescence from you. As Matt said, He’s trying to show us if He is enough for us to be satisfied; if we can rejoice and praise in Him merely because He is God and not because of anything He has done for/with/through/by us.

I got to that point on Church Hill. God hit me with one really big realization that I just kept repeating over and over and over again to myself:

He
is
God.

He is GOD. As A.W. Tozer says, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of God is the most important thing about you. What does that word mean? GOD. We take that word so much for granted. Do we really understand how much weight that carries? This is the being that when asked who He was, He said, “I Am the I am.” He doens’t have to answer to us. We as humans should be satisfied just knowing one thing about God: He is. This is the Creator of the unvierse. In our English translation, during the creation account, our Bibles say that God said “Let there be Light!” But rather, the most literal translation of this phrase from the Hebrew is as an imperative where God more literally said:

“Light, be.”

That is strong. Just sit back and REALLY think of that: He is GOD. The very guy we worship and praise, and feel, and know, and have fellowship with is GOD. GOD!!! We think of the word GOD as being more of a name. No; it’s a title that GOD fulfills so much, it is His name. It’s like how every adhesive bandage is called a Band-Aid, when Band-Aid is a brand name, not what those things are called. The word GOD is the same way. The being that is GOD is the only thing that fully exhibits every charcteristic of the word so He is the only one that deserves the title. That’s why ever other god in every other religion is just god. Not GOD. There is no substitute, believe me. Believe me.

I’ll end on Ryan’s response to my E-Mail:

sorry things are down right now… Just remember, trials are part of the deal. They serve a very real purpose in our life of faith. Just keep puttin one foot in front of the other… When I am most down, I often try and remember a time when I was certin that God moved in my life… that usually builds my faith enough to not quit all together…

You are going to make it fella! A good meditation might be 2 corinthians 1. It helps gain perspective on tough times…

You are a mighty man. God loves ya, you are going to do mighty things… be strong friend(joshua 1.9 [“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”])

When I get back I am really gonna need to go to chipotle!

love ya man
_ryan

God Bless,
— Paul<

Via de la Rosa

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

It seems every night, before I lay my head to rest,
I ask myself
“how can I look at myself in the mirror?”

How did it all come to this?

This reflection is a snapshot of a fading glory
whose holiness
lies dying upon the sinking horizon of dusk.
—–
Has my spirit met it’s West?
Is my cup dry and cracked?
O God I pray to you above
to renew the joy of my salvation
that I once knew and loved (which was you)
—–
Complete slavery and submission to the world
are the new banners of my cause.
Going down for a new breath of air; feeling free
as the shackles tighten
and my breaths get shorter.

How did it all come to this?
—–
Has my spirit met it’s West?
Is my cup dry and cracked?
O God I pray to you above
to renew the joy of my salvation
that I once knew and loved (which was you)
—–
How did it all come to this?

I just want to be able to look in the mirrir again.
I just want to be able to look in the mirror again
and to see you face instead . . .
—–
Lord, take this cup from my hands and let me
pour myself into it.
My last stand is here and know as I cry to be
a lighthouse rather than the waves.

I will either fail or conquer
die or live;
but either way
I’m yours

This I give for you, bearing my tree through my
“Way of the Roses”
enduring the thorns and spittle upon my face.
This I do for you.

It ends now.

Father,
into your hands I commit my spirit.

It . . .
is . . .
finished. . .

Outward thinking

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

As most people know, I am a very dangerous mixture of a person.

First of all, I am an intellectual (this list is not in order of priorities of what I identify with more, it’s just for the sake of rhetorical flow) that feeds off ideas and knowledge; what makes me an intellectual rather than a pure nerd is that the knowledge I seek, discuss, and find I actually apply it to my life and adjust my behaviors accordingly. It’s not quite just simply memorizing useless facts. This gives me the storehouse from which I can pull info to tell people certain things.

Secondly, I am a Christian, which by its very nature gives me the responsibility and burden to tell people certain things.

Thirdly, my primary spiritual gift is as a teacher, which allows me the ability to tell people these things with a certain sense of authority (only from God, of course).

Fourthly and finally, the single adjective that can describe everything about me the best is the word “passionate” which gives me the desire to tell people certain things from that storehouse of knowledge in my head that so affects how I look at the world.

In short, I talk. A lot. I think I assume that others are like me and everything they hear they apply to the “big picture” of their worldview much like someone would apply a puzzle piece to a puzzle. That ‘s how I work. Don’t assume that I’m just constantly changing opinions. No, everyone knows that I have convictions. Rather, as is the case of spiritual truths, I believe the best way to understand God is to try to step back and apply each new truth you learn in your relationship with Him to the big picture of who he is. Most people hear a good sermon on God’s justice and then they proceed to fear Him until they hear a good sermon on His grace, after which they begin to just love Him and thank Him. I think in order to worship all parts of Him, we must be able to apply all truths, and all bits of knowledge to the big picture of who He is, not just as a long list of attributes on paper.

Anyway, my point is this. I have noticed in myself a definite spike in the level of discussions I’ve been having (both in quality and quantity) with Christians on deep theological concepts. a-millenialism vs. pre-millenialism and Charismatic/Pentacostal movements vs. Cessationsts have been the biggest topics. A lot of people don’t understand why I’ve been doing this; they continue to tell me that outside of salvation, this stuff doesn’t matter. That’s true and not true.

Where it is true that saving knowledge does not require a perfectly correct set of doctrinal beliefs, as I said above, each of these things affects our worldview – the filter through we which we see/feel/do all things.

So right now I am laying it all out there for everybody:
Though I spent most my life in a pre-millenialist, cessationist church indoctrination, I have since found those things to be unbiblical and incorrect. The truth, as I see it in God’s Word of a-millenialism and the full workings of the Holy Spirit have changed my walk with God in a way that I wish everyone could experience.

Finally, I come to my point of writing all of this tonight, including the preceeding poem (actually, they’re song lyrics, but I just put some loose structure on them and called it a poem). Those two theological things have for the first time began to give me the proper view of my spiritual walk: IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!! It’s about the Kingdom of God. Used to I was driven to evangelize out of fear for my friends, now I am driven by purpose – because to evangelize the lost is the only reason why I am still here on Earth rather in Heaven with God; it is my reason for living. That’s why I entitled this post “Outward thinking.” Because that is where we must all arrive; to a place of outward thinking where God will use the “foolishness of our preaching” even in spite of being “the chief of sinners.” God’s Will will be done in this Earth, and if I am to live up to my purpose, I must give God the chance for Him to execute that Will through me.

“I just want to be able to look in the mirror again and to see your face instead.”
“I will either fail or conquer, die or live, but either way I’m yours”
God I love you so much and fear you with all my heart. Help me not to get so wrapped up into intellectualism that it substitutes for you, because nothing can adequately do that. Help me be a true Christian that doesn’t obey you to get control or leverage, but rather obeys you to get more of You. Use me and my foolishness for your purposes O God.

Amen.

–Paul<

some great quotes . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

I’m reading this book right now called “Desiring God” by John Piper. I just really started today and it has some incredible things to say. It’s basic thesis is that the pleasure we receive when we glorify God, is glorifying God. In other words, it is our duty and responsibility to take as much delight and pleasure in God, because that is what truly glorifies him in the end. It’s a concept called Christian Hedonism. It is full of amazing quotes and I’m just going to insert those quotes into this blog whenever I reach one to share them with the world!!

Quote from C.S. Lewis’ sermon “The Weight of Glory”:

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering anture of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

damage control . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

So, what do I say to follow up yesterday’s post? Maybe I should post a list of people that I will let into heaven and those who I won’t. Based on how some people are acting towards me, that’s exactly what they expect me to do. In response to some of the responses, it seems necessary to me, to tell everyone my true perspective on judging others. I thought I had expressed this enough, but apparently, people’s view of me is slightly skewed. Okay, here I go . . .

First, off, I want to complain to other conservative Christians today. Most Christians wander around in their little bubble judging all others who are outside of it. Christ explicitly gave a charge to all Christians to “be in the world, but not of it.” Most Christians today that aren’t bold about their faith generally are “in” the world and “of” it. Most Christians today that are bold about their faith, like me, have a tendency to be neither “in” the world nor “of” it. When Abraham was coming down down from I think Mt. Sinai, the road forked in front of him. He had a choice to make. First, to go down the left road to Ai, a city of lust, thievery, sin, and abomination, or go to the right to the city of Bethel, a city that was holy, pure, and God-honoring. Where did Abraham go? According to Genesis, Abraham pitched his tent “between Bethel and Ai.” We as Christians are not meant to spend our whole lives in the holy city, nor in the unholy city. You must find the balance between the two. It’s a very difficult thing to do, but it must be done. Many Christians follow what I was venting about in my previous posting: they change for the world. Many others, though do the opposite, they remove themselves from reality.

My dad refers to these Christians as those who are “too heavenly-minded to be of any earthly good.” I personally believe these Christians pose the biggest threat to Christianity as a whole. They not only have created the stereotype of Christians, but have reinforced it in every way. It is these Christians that prevent me from being able to put a post up on my site that expresses my opinions and not have everyone think it feeds right into the stereotype.

All my life, I have heard from every type of person out there that I am the only Christian they have known that is not at all “of” the world, but it also not completely “out” of it. Sensitive to others but not compromising to myself. Most people here at VCU also have said that, except for a few.

To all “the few”: as my Social Psych teacher said about the student evaluations of his course he received, “the majority of these are great and positive for me, with only some people giving a negative evaluation, of which there are varying degrees. So many opinions, yet I’m still the same person! I did the same things with all of you! thus, following statistics, my true abilities and evaluations must be based on the majority of evaluations, of which most were very positive!”

I don’t blame all those that may have received the wrong impression of the way I am, I really don’t. When most of your experience with bold Christians has been of a certain type, you will be looking for certain behaviors, and will just naturally put more emphasis on those behaviors that match your mental schema for Christians more rightly.

I am a Southern Baptist. At least when it comes to beliefs and doctrine, I am a hardcore Southern Baptist. When it comes to my practices, my way of carrying myself, and conduct myself, I am not the typical Southern Baptists. Most Southern Baptists that are strong in their belief can be characterized by how they judge others. They do it constantly, incessantly, all the time! They seem to have forgotten that in the Bible, God says that all sin is equal in the eyes of God. This one thing holds many ramifications.

One, it smashes the “i’m a good person, so i can go to heaven” myth. In God’s eyes, every sin is equal, so as long as you’re a sinning human being, you are on the same level as every one else on earth. The only determining factor for heaven is whether or not one has dedicated their life and faith to Christ and has fully accepted his forgiveness.

Two, it shows that no human has the right to judge another fro their sins. This especially applies to Christians, and definitely applies to me. Under no circumstances do I – can I – see myself better in God’s eyes than another person. Until I stop sinning, I am right there with every other person. When I put up things like that last post, it is done knowing full well my own faults and sins.

On the last post, I simply gave a commentary on my personal frustration in my relationships here at school with people that seem to be changing, actually, more like compromising within their lives/lifestyles. A couple of arguments I heard tonight against my post: This is the first time people are thinking for themselves, thus they will change. The change is inevitable. My answer: Yes, change, is inevitable, and it will happen and it should. But, if these kind of truly positive maturing changes would be made, the vast majority of college students’ standards would not be lowering dramatically. There would be mostly positive changes, or slightly lower standards as people try to see what things are “wrong” and “right.” This is not maturation, this is not experimentation, it is all out stereotypical rebellion against the way one was raised. It’s cliche by now. It’s so utterly predictable that it has become the norm. The general rule nowadays in college is no longer to try and rise above the faults of their parents, but rather to disregard their parents all together. Does no one else see this? Another argument I heard was that I was trying to impose my morality as a standard for all other to follow, and if they don’t follow it they are seemingly evil horrible people. First off, no, they are not seemingly horrible evil people, they have just become the norm. Secondly, recall that my commentary was on everyone changing, and those changes usually consisting of a lowering of one’s personal standards that they had before going into college. I don’t care if it’s from someone thinking it’s wrong to kiss someone to actually kissing someone, or someone believing it’s wrong to drugs and ending up doing them. In both cases, they fit my commentary on the lowering of one’s personal standards that they had before college.

The most difficult part of being a parent is getting your children to internalize the morals you teach them. Getting them to make your morals their morals. By the age of 18, when you enter college usually, you should have internalized those morals, or at least a certain set of morals even if they aren’t your parent’s. College should be after you know what standard your living by and any change to that standard should logically only be a change up. This is why I see people with very similar upbringings to me starting to lose their standards. They don’t seem to have internalized their moral system at all, thus they have none when they come to college. They are still living their life through their parents. No matter what anybody may want to think of me, one thing I am not is spoon fed to be a walking carbon copy of my parents. I know what I bleieve, why I believe it, and have tested those beliefs whenever I can, and every time they have come out right; and I’m willing to defend those beliefs at anytime to anyone.

Okay, that was a lot of damage control. Under no circumstances will I change what I have already typed previously. I’m not apologizing for any of it either. I just want to let everybody know I really don’t think I am more pure, good, or holy than any one else out there. I really do love everyone that I have a relationship with, and I just hate to see them change their standards – the very blueprint by which they make their decisions. Just remember that, please. I am not judging, only expressing concern for this apparent characteristic of our generation. I really think we can do more, and I hope to meet more people that only want to raise the standards of their behaviors socially, morally, spiritually, and personally.

Once again God Bless and please leave comments!!!

–Paul<

life isn’t good, it isn’t bad; it’s just annoying . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

why do people change? I mean, I know that freshman year is supposed to be a transitional period in one’s life, but not to change into another person!!!!

Why is it that the only person I know that hasn’t changed his way of life, his ideals, his morals, and his standards is the one that drinks, smokes, and gets high in his bathroom. Everyone else is changing into new people, and no one is turning into a better person. Everyone is changing downhill.

I just needed to vent. It hurts, you know. These aren’t selfish feelings I’m having, they’re really not. I just love everyone in my life so much, I want them to stay above everything they used to be above doing. In the end, though, everone will make their way. God gave every person free will, and I have no right to try to take it away from them. It just hurts. I feel sad, disgusted, pained, bittersweet, morose, hopeful, and hopeless all at the same time.

These are feelings I really shouldn’t have, and I know I should be giving them up to God, and I will. I am. It’s just a process, you know. For all the other Christians out there, please pray for me as I continue to try and fight the influences all around me, and pray to give me the strength not to put my faith in other people, because you can’t. They will always let you down. That’s the very essence of our sinful natures, and the very reason Christ died. So we could put our faith in someone and delight in him always. And delight I will. Until my dying day.

God Bless,

–Paul<

via rusticus temporis

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Walking down my lonely wooded road.

The sun permeating all around.

My path diverges into two, both crying for my load.

All I can hear is the angry sound

Of superiors above using both their mouths.

And everyone else saying their piece,

While everything else cries in its state of inanimation.

Shouting spasmodically, piercing the silent shade,

I try to converge my divided thoughts.

But I can’t for at different feet they’ve been laid;

Two different feet which converge onto differing plots.

My feet while converging from one body, can be independent

But dependent on the whole at once

Just as the paths ne’er would exist without the first.

This bane causes pain which brings tears that stain

Every paper door that leads closer to my West.

This strain sees disdain at the feet of the one I’m lain,

As my blood shod eyes look up crying for his best.

He just smiles reassuringly, but the silence makes me shake.

Crippled with uncertainty, I can only trust his hands.

His hands so fair, though scarred; so light, yet so weighted . . .

by my every former worry and now’s. waiting for me to let go. . .

— Paul M. Burkhart

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