Going Medieval on my Atheist Self (on art & assurance)


Even back in my hyper-Calvinist days–assured that I was chosen, secure, and Elected unto salvation–I recognized the reality that if I were not a Christian, I’d certainly be an Atheist. If there was some way that I could be convinced that Christianity was a fraud (and here are some ways), I would not face any temptation to be a Buddhist or New Age mystic or anything of the like. No, No. I would be a hardened, militant Atheist.

How do I know this? Well, Christianity has the idea that within each believer is the “Old Self” and the “New Self”. This Old Self is, essentially, who we are apart from God.

That Old Self, though we fight it our entire Christian lives, won’t actually be fully snuffed out until the end of all things. And so, in a sense, if we’re sensitive to it, we can sometimes “feel” that “without-God” version of ourselves rolling around in there somewhere in our hearts.
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Ross Douthat: a new hero of mine


Look at that face. If I saw him walking down the street, I would think he was just another guy; I’d have no idea the kindred spirit that lay in this man’s mind.

Ross Douthat (don’t ask how to say his last name), like myself, seems to be a man that life has continually thrown from one-extreme to the other: born in San Francisco, and then transplanted to New Haven, Connecticut; attended Harvard and then turned around three years later and wrote a book denouncing the Privileged culture there; started out as a Pentecostal, then converted to Catholicism; wrote for his college newspaper and is now the youngest-ever Op-Ed columnist at the New York Times.

These extremes seem to have helped him settle in nicely with a well-informed and balanced view, able to to comfortably exist, engage, and critique in a world of poly-everything.

Over the past year or so, I’ve seen (and been sent), a few of his articles and blog posts, but I think I was missing something. All I knew of him was that he was a Catholic writer with a sharp mind, and I didn’t pay him much proactive attention.

And this was to my great detriment.

Somehow I stumbled upon this set of exchanges on Slate, where Will Saletan, one of the most thoughtful secular liberals I’ve ever read, engages Douthat on some issues raised in Douthat’s newest book Bad Religion: How We Became a Nation of Heretics. This exchange cemented Douthat’s stature in my mind, as well as his place in my reading repertoire. It’s great. You all need to read it.

I’ve started to read the book, and it’s definitely going to be a personal classic for me and a turning point in my development as a solidly religious person firmly engaged in the body politic. I also have the privilege of attending a book talk/signing with him next week here in Philly.

I have much more I could say and commend about him (including the fact that he’s a Catholic who fully-embraces praying in tongues–kindred spirit indeed!), but to do so would steal precious time from you, the gracious reader of this blog post, that could be spent reading Douthat’s work itself. Here’s a representative piece to get you started.

Oh. And you’re welcome.

Hey! It’s Still Easter!


When I had appendicitis last week, our preaching pastor visited me in the hospital. Having missed the service that Sunday–the first after Easter Sunday–I asked him what new sermon series he had started, now that Easter was over.

He looked at me a little surprised (as I’ve been so into liturgy and the Church Calendar the past couple of years) and informed me of something that I had apparently missed:

Easter is an entire season that is 50 days long.

(Wikipedia confirms.) Oh why do we shorten our time to rejoice and celebrate? This season is our excuse to go crazy and be joyful, bold, secure, and confident before our God and this world.

We have 33 more days before we celebrate Pentecost.
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The Children’s Bible: my favorite devotional [casual fri]


Okay, once again, I find myself in what many past saints have referred to as a “spiritual dry season”. I can’t count how many times on this blog I’ve bemoaned being here. And honestly, this is because I think I’ve spent more of my Christian life in these times than out. It’s kind of the norm. Don’t worry, I’m finally getting help.

As is the case with most people experiencing times like this, one of the first casualties is any personal Bible reading. I get to that place where I just don’t want to read the Bible–or, more precisely, I want to, but I just don’t have the spiritual strength to do it (anyone who’s been a Christian for any length of time probably knows what I mean).

But there’s one tool that God has given me that he consistently uses to draw me back to himself. I found myself picking it up again this past week and wanted to to share it all with you.
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I have appendicitis, so no blogging


Well, it seems I have appendicitis. It unexepectedly hit Saturday morning. After a long night in the ER, I’ve been admitted to University of Pennsylvania Presbyterian Hospital, where I’m getting great (albeit slow) treatment (except for the narcotic-happy ER nurse).

They still don’t know if they are going to operate. Apprently, more and more research is showing they can take care of this without cutting me open. Honestly, all I want is some food (I’ve gone almost three days without any so far).

All that to say: it may be a couple of days before you see a post here. I’ve got in the habit of posting every day, and I’ll miss it, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.

Have a great day. And pray I get to eat something soon.

Posted from WordPress for Android on my Droid X

Some Help for the Journey & the Fall (Matt Chandler, Patrol Mag, & the iMonk)


In light of my post yesterday on Driscoll, I thought it would be appropriate to re-blog this post as well. It’s my own take on the future of evangelicalism and the possibilities available for those super-conservative pastors (like Driscoll and gang) who would otherwise be left behind the curve. It shows how Mat Chandler is an example of what Driscoll could be, if he were to hold, in m humble opinion, the right priorities in life and faith.

Paul Burkhart's avatarthe long way home

Melograna - fallingArt by Julia Meolgrana

If you have about an hour or so, I wanted to plug several articles and a sermon.  The sermon is from Matt Chandler.  It is a message he gave during a chapel service at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  There is both audio and video available.  The message is walking through Hebrews Chapter 11 and into 12 to show what the Christian life is meant to consist of.  This message blew me away.  It’s about 40 minutes long, and I was almost crying at work by the end.  It is a call to see the Fallenness of this world, the Beauty of its Savior, and our need to repent.

The main article I want to push now is an editorial from Patrol Magazine, a frequent subject and inspiration for posts on this blog.  These weekly editorials are becoming a highlight of my week.  They are…

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Why I “hate” Mark Driscoll so much (p.s. I don’t)


[This is a reply I wrote to an email asking me “why do you hate Mark Driscoll so much?” Driscoll is a prominent Evangelical pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He is controversial for his outspoken views on women, sex, homosexuals, men, church government, church culture, biblical interpretation, and theology. In other words, he can’t seem but to attract attention. In the particular circles I run in, his name and views often come up, so I felt it warranted some discussion.]

I “hate” Driscoll like Luther and Calvin hated the Catholic Church: maybe too much, but not without very, very good reason. So, in other words, I don’t actually hate him. I love him dearly, but my heart breaks over some things about how he conducts himself and his ministry.

The “New Reformed” need a new reformation, in my opinion, and my problem is mainly with individuals that happen to be put up as the main faces of this “movement”: Mark Driscoll, Justin Taylor, Carl Trueman, Al Mohler, and Douglas Wilson (at times). My problem is with these particular people, more than it is with the movement itself. They just happen to “define” much of that movement.

I will never discourage people to not listen to Matt Chandler (as I also said here), John Piper, Francis Chan, or even D.A. Carson, even though, theologically, I disagree with them on a lot (mainly on very secondary issues–even though they wouldn’t think they’re very secondary–and that’s another problem I have).

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Holy Day Apathy & Holy Years to Come


I found myself sitting in our joint Maundy Thursday service alongside the other congregation from which we rent space, frustrated. I was a little distracted because I had arrived late and my adrenaline was still going, making my senses heightened and my self-diagnosed ADD kick-in. I was also mad at myself for my own liturgical snobbiness, which had taken note that the service was technically a Good Friday liturgy that they were using on Thursday.

Now, I know I can go too far in chasing mystical and intense dynamics in my relating to God. But still, I was so wanting to feel God on this night, and I sat there in this service confused and saddened at my failure in finding it.

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“15 Glances” at the Crucifix | Lent {11}


In the tradition of giving honor where it’s due, I’ve like to offer up the post that served a the inspiration for this whole series I’ve been doing on “The Lamb Eternally Slain” (which still isn’t done, even though it’s no longer Lent. It’ll be okay, though). The post is by Ben Myers, a thoughtful and thought-provoking theologian who draws from many theological corners for his thinking (much like myself). Here it is:

The Icon of the Cross: 15 Glances | Faith & Theology

Austin Ricketts, who wrote a couple of the posts in this series, sent to me this post of Ben’s nearly nine months ago. I still remember where I was as I read it and was caught up in it’s transcendent, sweeping reflections on the icon of the Cross. (Yes, we are referring here to “icon” as in the artistic representation of religious things for use in meditation or worship. Don’t worry, fellow Protestants, icons aren’t nearly as bad or idolatrous of a thing as we were raised being told.) I had the idea then for this blog series on my blog, but held on to it until Lent, thinking it most appropriate for this time (instead of Advent, haha).

In his post, Myers spends some time jotting down 15 reflections (or “glances”) on this icon. I have copied a few of my favorites below, but please check out the full post–there’s far more beauty in store for you.

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HAPPY EASTER! Free Easter Mixtape Now Available!


Today, we usher in the season of Easter. This is a time that follows that mournfulness and quiet meditation that is the season of Lent.

During Lent, the tension and angst between who are and who we know we should be grows and grows. Good Friday is when Jesus bears the weight of this angst, Holy Saturday is when he enters into it fully, and Easter is when this tension breaks as we celebrate how Christ has overcome the weight and darkness of it all. This is meant to be a time of giddy joy and freedom and worship.

To help us in this time, I’m offering another mixtape. (I made some for both Advent and Lent.) I pray these songs and words are able to usher us into unfettered joy and gratitude to our God for all he has done, and all he has promised to do. As usual, you can both download and stream it for free. Here it is:

Click here for the Easter 2012 Mixtape

Feel free to download and share this as you like, and may it bless you this Easter season. Be sure to also follow the poetry, prayers, reflections, and readings I’ve offered for this season as well.

[Image Credit: the cover art above is an amazing piece by my favorite artist, Mark Rothko.]

on Easter: “to Life, a sonnet” [a poem]


to Life, a sonnet

____________________________________Praise.
_________________________________Ovate
______________________________Now
___________________________How’s
________________________Why’s
_____________________Cries
__________________Birth
_______________Groans
____________Crows
_________Creation
______Weep
___There:

Here:
Sleep…

[read my other Holy Week poetry here]

all writings licensed: Creative Commons License

on Holy Saturday: “to death, a sonnet” [a poem]


to death, a sonnet

A fear as frank as frankness be
I hold within this frame so dear;
so dear please hold me, till this dark is past
_____— till the darkness passes mine eye.

But to be so engraced I know I must face
_____– and lose-
___________to this spectre this prospect requires.

O this still darkest night, I lie here betwixt
competing rays
__________of glory’s gaze.
One lies ahead; one lies to my face
___both wooing and charming a choice from my hands:

___________to re-seize and be lived,
___________or release and be sieved?

[read my other Holy Week poetry here]

[image by Mark Rothko]

all writings licensed: Creative Commons License

on Good Friday: “Coffee Crucifix” [a poem]


Coffee Crucifix

Crescent ring under porcelain smooth
___stain the wood-stained finish.
______(It is finished.)
___Marked with muddy water;
___mark the merry day; to
___marry the murdered man.

Floral notes in blackened waves
___crash the shore of trembled lips.
Choral bright, in darkest night,
___wake the tone of trebled kiss.

Younger tastes left open-wide; older eyes made
satisfied.

Mark the wood: complex simplicity.
Pierce my heart: storied infinity.

[read my other Holy Week poetry here]

all writings licensed: Creative Commons License

Maundy Thursday, Narrative & Sacrament | Lent {9}



Today is Maundy Thursday which is the time in the Christian Church calendar where we celebrate the institution of the Lord’s Supper; it also initiates the three Holy Days of Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday.

I was raised as a Southern Baptist in Dallas, Texas. Liturgy, Church calendars, Holy Days, and Prayer books were as foreign to me as R-rated films, alcohol, and dancing. Now, though, as I’m looking for a Church to go to for a Good Friday service, even the Presbyterian church service all my friends are going to doesn’t feel liturgical and structured enough for me. What happened?

In the last few years between going to seminary (and dropping out) and changing churches, I have fallen in love with both liturgy and Sacrament.

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did i miss the “don’t plug in your phone” memo?


Update: I’ve written a comment below responding to some questions and clarifying my point a little. Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

Am I missing something?

I consider myself a pretty respectful and courteous guy, especially to strangers and their businesses.

In my job, I find myself all over the city, and quite often in the lobbies of various doctors and city governmental agencies. Because I’m on the road, my phone is my main connection to the rest of the world (to varying degrees of success. To those that I’ve never returned your emails, I’m sorry, it’s easy for me to lose sight of things when I only have my phone to email with), so it runs out of battery pretty easily (I am, what the marketers call, a “power user”).

And so I try and plug in my phone wherever I can, whenever I can.

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