Personal

Via de la Rosa

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

It seems every night, before I lay my head to rest,
I ask myself
“how can I look at myself in the mirror?”

How did it all come to this?

This reflection is a snapshot of a fading glory
whose holiness
lies dying upon the sinking horizon of dusk.
—–
Has my spirit met it’s West?
Is my cup dry and cracked?
O God I pray to you above
to renew the joy of my salvation
that I once knew and loved (which was you)
—–
Complete slavery and submission to the world
are the new banners of my cause.
Going down for a new breath of air; feeling free
as the shackles tighten
and my breaths get shorter.

How did it all come to this?
—–
Has my spirit met it’s West?
Is my cup dry and cracked?
O God I pray to you above
to renew the joy of my salvation
that I once knew and loved (which was you)
—–
How did it all come to this?

I just want to be able to look in the mirrir again.
I just want to be able to look in the mirror again
and to see you face instead . . .
—–
Lord, take this cup from my hands and let me
pour myself into it.
My last stand is here and know as I cry to be
a lighthouse rather than the waves.

I will either fail or conquer
die or live;
but either way
I’m yours

This I give for you, bearing my tree through my
“Way of the Roses”
enduring the thorns and spittle upon my face.
This I do for you.

It ends now.

Father,
into your hands I commit my spirit.

It . . .
is . . .
finished. . .

Outward thinking

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

As most people know, I am a very dangerous mixture of a person.

First of all, I am an intellectual (this list is not in order of priorities of what I identify with more, it’s just for the sake of rhetorical flow) that feeds off ideas and knowledge; what makes me an intellectual rather than a pure nerd is that the knowledge I seek, discuss, and find I actually apply it to my life and adjust my behaviors accordingly. It’s not quite just simply memorizing useless facts. This gives me the storehouse from which I can pull info to tell people certain things.

Secondly, I am a Christian, which by its very nature gives me the responsibility and burden to tell people certain things.

Thirdly, my primary spiritual gift is as a teacher, which allows me the ability to tell people these things with a certain sense of authority (only from God, of course).

Fourthly and finally, the single adjective that can describe everything about me the best is the word “passionate” which gives me the desire to tell people certain things from that storehouse of knowledge in my head that so affects how I look at the world.

In short, I talk. A lot. I think I assume that others are like me and everything they hear they apply to the “big picture” of their worldview much like someone would apply a puzzle piece to a puzzle. That ‘s how I work. Don’t assume that I’m just constantly changing opinions. No, everyone knows that I have convictions. Rather, as is the case of spiritual truths, I believe the best way to understand God is to try to step back and apply each new truth you learn in your relationship with Him to the big picture of who he is. Most people hear a good sermon on God’s justice and then they proceed to fear Him until they hear a good sermon on His grace, after which they begin to just love Him and thank Him. I think in order to worship all parts of Him, we must be able to apply all truths, and all bits of knowledge to the big picture of who He is, not just as a long list of attributes on paper.

Anyway, my point is this. I have noticed in myself a definite spike in the level of discussions I’ve been having (both in quality and quantity) with Christians on deep theological concepts. a-millenialism vs. pre-millenialism and Charismatic/Pentacostal movements vs. Cessationsts have been the biggest topics. A lot of people don’t understand why I’ve been doing this; they continue to tell me that outside of salvation, this stuff doesn’t matter. That’s true and not true.

Where it is true that saving knowledge does not require a perfectly correct set of doctrinal beliefs, as I said above, each of these things affects our worldview – the filter through we which we see/feel/do all things.

So right now I am laying it all out there for everybody:
Though I spent most my life in a pre-millenialist, cessationist church indoctrination, I have since found those things to be unbiblical and incorrect. The truth, as I see it in God’s Word of a-millenialism and the full workings of the Holy Spirit have changed my walk with God in a way that I wish everyone could experience.

Finally, I come to my point of writing all of this tonight, including the preceeding poem (actually, they’re song lyrics, but I just put some loose structure on them and called it a poem). Those two theological things have for the first time began to give me the proper view of my spiritual walk: IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!! It’s about the Kingdom of God. Used to I was driven to evangelize out of fear for my friends, now I am driven by purpose – because to evangelize the lost is the only reason why I am still here on Earth rather in Heaven with God; it is my reason for living. That’s why I entitled this post “Outward thinking.” Because that is where we must all arrive; to a place of outward thinking where God will use the “foolishness of our preaching” even in spite of being “the chief of sinners.” God’s Will will be done in this Earth, and if I am to live up to my purpose, I must give God the chance for Him to execute that Will through me.

“I just want to be able to look in the mirror again and to see your face instead.”
“I will either fail or conquer, die or live, but either way I’m yours”
God I love you so much and fear you with all my heart. Help me not to get so wrapped up into intellectualism that it substitutes for you, because nothing can adequately do that. Help me be a true Christian that doesn’t obey you to get control or leverage, but rather obeys you to get more of You. Use me and my foolishness for your purposes O God.

Amen.

–Paul<

massive prayer request

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

Tonight was ENLI at Harvest. I got a word from God tonight that I just need to share. God really hit me with the fact that revival will sweep across this campus at the sight of a miracle; an outworking of His Spirit on this campus. Something big will occur. God really laid on my heart what that miracle could very well be, and that is what needs prayer. God thrust upon my heart a burden for a guy named Matt in my dorm. Matt has either Muscular Dystrophy or Multiple Scelerosis and is in a motorized wheelchair. He is not a Christian. God just told me that this guy will be healed and walk from his chair after an entire life in it and no prospect for the future. Right after getting that burden at the end of ENLI, I was walking back to my dorm and guess who crossed my path – Matt in his wheelchair. I was able to say hey and lay a hand on Him and whisper a quick silent prayer. I then proceeded into the elevator where I was just forced to begin praying in the Spirit and continued that in my room, followed by some pretty intense confessing of Scripture.

This is a huge test for my faith. I don’t know whether to ask God to heal Him, thank Him that He will, that He already has, or just believe it will be done. I’m really knew to this supernatural aspect of the Christian life, but I really believe that this can be the supernatural miracle God was telling me about that will finally set off the fire every spirit-filled Christian at VCU has been feeling and anticipating.

For anyone that reads this, please pass this on to anyone who has a gift of healing, or just anyone that is filled with the Spirit and has faith this can and will be done. This will need a great barrier of prayer. Something big is about to happen at VCU, I just know it. God is beginning to move supernaturally at UofR, and God is preparing to do so here at VCU. Everyone that reads this – just pray. Pray in the Spirit; He knows better than us what to say.

God Bless and have faith always,
— Paul <

I swear I’m not turning emo again . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

God is good. Spring is evil. Spring is evil mainly for two reasons: First, the demon of Abercrombie skirts and halter tops returns to try and devour the souls of every Christian man trying to remain pure for his wife. The second reason why Spring is evil is that EVERYONE starts getting in relationships. Historically, I’ve been much more of a Winter/Fall dater rather than a Spring one, but I’m past the typical notion of dating.

Anyway, on to my main point of writing this tonight. Currently, it is 2:12 in the morning. I feel safe writing in this blog because I am fairly confident no one reads it. I’m really not complaining. It’s kind of exciting being able to say stuff with the potentiality of someone reading it, but the safety net of knowing you can be a little more blunt and open because your audience will be so narrow if not non-existent.

Okay, so is the bane of every 19 year old unmarried Christian male: I am lonely. Yes it hurts. No I don’t like it. Before I go on, I must reassure anyone who may read this that I am not whining, I am not struggling with any faith issues with God, and I am not regressing to where I was in high school where I get so focused on my own problems I lose sight of the Kingdom of God.

Bottom line: The past month, month and a half, God has been working in me in the area of relationships. Through my family, through IV, through individuals, through Harvest, and through just individual prayer and Bible Study He has been building me into a man of God prepared to embark on looking to the future. As Robert said at Paideia on Sunday: “Marriage is for men. It’s not where you become a man.” I feel like God has forced me to become a man now, earlier than most guys for some purpose unknown to me. With that maturation, though, comes a natural desire to establish oneself in the natural place in God’s earthly manifestation of His relationship with us: Marriage; and with that comes a natural desire to start seeking out and pursuing relationships with women, or rather a woman.

Here’s the problem: I’ve had my little “list” of women that filled what I wanted in a girlfriend/person to date/future wife for a little bit now. It’s only been this semester that I have actually met incredible strong women of God that have the same anti-cultural views of relationships as me that try to get as biblical as possible. Every girl on this “list”, though, seems to have fallen prey to the evils of Spring just recently by starting relationships on a deeper level (even if it’s not dating) with every guy around me BUT ME! Believe me, I’m just venting, I’m not whining. It’s just frustrating, you know? God has been building me up to the point where I now (for the first time) have the proper view of relationships, there purpose, there form, and their function. Would God really prepare me so early for a proper view of relationships just to not allow me to be in one? Maybe so. I don’t know. I learned the futility of questioning God’s supreme wisdom long ago. In my own earthly perspective, I feel like I am at a point where I can handle one of those few relationships that actually glorify God. If that is the case, human logic would say that God, wanting to be glorified in the utmost capacity of any human being, would provide a way for a relationship to develop because someone who can particpate in a relationship in such a way would glorify Him more with someone than without someone. Do you follow? I hope so.

But in the end, I keep being reminded of the calling God has put on me – to just go crazy for Him with reckless abandon. To get into the Word every day and to cultivate and develop a real tangible active prayer life. Believe it or not, those are more at the forefront of my mind than my worries about relationships. I just want to glorify God, and I feel like God has been working in me in such a way that He is/was preparing to call me into a relatrionship in order to glorify Him. That is all I want to do. Wait! I got a better way to phrase it. It’s like God has given me an increased capacity to glorify Him and I am currently not working to full capacity. Sure, I get some blessings and benefits from a relationship, but only if my focus is the kingdom of God and preparing, creating, and maintaining a life that can expand and glorify that Kingdom. It gets me excited all through my body and soul just thinking about it. You know what? I feel better already. Thanks a lot World Wide Web. I’m still frustrated, I still have those desires, and I still have those feelings of loneliness that hurt a lot right now, but I just need to keep trusting in God.

As Robert also said last night: “God did not tell us how to do this dating thing. He simply told us the kind of people we should be, gave us His Spirit, and then told us to trust Him.”

God, I am trusting you. I feel like I am approaching the crest of the roller coaster. Please be with me. This is a huge thing for me to actually place into your hands with reckless abandon. Please take care of me and comfort my soul, O God. I love you so much. I have faith you won’t let me down and I must continue in that faith. May I continue to attempt to glorify you in all I do.

— Paul

I have kissed kissing goodbye . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

Some people may have heard, others may have not, but it is true: I, Paul Burkhart, am abstaining from the act of kissing until further notice from God.

Okay, so I have been telling people that I am not going to kiss another girl until my wedding day, but every time I’ve said that, I have felt like God was kinda telling me not to phrase it that way. I have realized, rather, that God is wanting me to abstain from kissing maybe until my wedding day, maybe not, but just until further notice.

It really is getting kinda annoying all the people that just don’t believe me, or the people that will actually get IN ARGUMENTS with me over this issue. That in and of itself is kind of strange, I feel. One good friend of mine even said, “Paul, this is just crazy, you’re throwing your life away!”

So, why am I doing this? First and foremost I want to tell everyone that this is not a “right or wrong” issue with me. Jacob in the Bible kissed his wife before they were married. I don’t think it’s wrong to kiss before you’re married; thus I shan’t judge anyone Christian couple that does. I am not abstaining from kissing because I think it is wrong, dirty, or not fun. My most vivid memory from my entire life is my first kiss when I was 15. Not only is it one of the most incredible things to do, but from the feedback I’vce recieved, it is kind of a gift of my own (a little bit ‘o humor there).

There are several reasons why I am doing this; or rather, why God is telling me to do this. Because of my own struggles with lust, I have seen in myself a lack of self-control atleast mentally and in some physical situations. This is a test and exercise in self-control to refine me just that much more to be a worthy husband for my wife, conformed just that much more to the image of Christ.

Secondly, I have definitely put women on a pedestal before God, and I don’t mean “before” as in in front of Him, but rather “before” as in priorities. I think about girls, relationships, my future wife, more than I think about God. It humbles me to relaize that one of the reasons Christ never sinned was because it was simply out of character to do so because it never crossed His mind because His mind was constantly and forever on nothing else but the will of His Father, just as my thoughts should be, but are not.

Next, I really see this as a sort of fasting, except of kissing, not food. This decision has not been made in order to be held above other Christians heads, or to make me look more holy, but rather to take the focus off of worldy desires and focus completely on God, and the woman He has planned for me.

Also, I was just thinking, “if I can save my virginity until my wedding night, what is preventing me from abstaining from kissing?”

This decision also serves another big purpose that I believe God whishes to accomplish in me. If I can successfully abstain from kissing, that will pretty much eliminate the oppurtunity for me to fall into sexual sin with someone else. If you ask a Christian couple if they have kissed, then ask them if they struggle with sexual sin in their relationship, you will see more often that not that people will answer yes to both questions, or no. As Matt Robinett says, “why preheat the oven if you can’t cook the roast?” Because of the way that my life was heading, I can definitely see oppurtunities that in the next couple of months I could have taken to “hook up” with girls that I should be ministering to instead. This commitment helps maintain my witness to them and others, and keep sme from stumbling in those sins.

This will also help to keep my next relationship with a girl in a proper perspective. Inevitably, with physical manifestations of emotions, come increased emotions. The Bible says in Proverbs that “the hearts of men are wicked, and their minds decietful.” Our emotions will always lie to us, be self-serving, pleasure seeking, and not within the will of God, thus, one should not base a relationship or relationship decision on “feeling” and “emotion.” This adresses another issue that a lot of poeple have been telling me. Most people in this day and age can’t comprehend knowing how you feel about someone until you kiss them. They think that it is not until you kiss a person that suddenly your true feelings will be awakened or known to you. This just simply isn’t true.

If you think about it, what is the point of kissing in a relationship? (1)To express your feelings in a tangible physical form? (2)To foster a sense of intimacy with a person? (3)To seperate that person from everyone else because you “do more” with them than other girls? (4)To have fun? (5)To feel that little “warm fuzzy” that comes from the end of an incredible soft, deep, kiss? All of these things are completely real and necessary points of kissing – in a non-christian relationship. I will proceed to discuss each one of the numerated points above.

(1)To express your feelings in a tangible physical form
———————————————
If the head of the relationship is not love itself (God and Christ), then it makes sense you will need a shallow human mode to express your feeling; you will need to kiss to create intimacy; you will need to kiss to make some differentiation between girls; you will need to do physical things to have fun; and you will need to find other ways to evoke the “warm fuzzy.” In a Christian dating relationship, on the other hand, the two people should trust God to provide the proper emotions to the proper person at the proper time, and just have faith that it is real; they don’t need to kiss to prove their feelings, they have faith in God and one another.

(2)To foster a sense of intimacy with a person
———————————————
The very nature of sin seperates man from God and man from other people. Thus, when someone is a Christian and doesn’t have that sin, they have an intimacy with other Christians (and other people in general) that is like no other. It doesn’t need to be created and reinforced by physical or tangible things as it surpasses the comprehension of the world and the flesh. A Christian couple even more can feel this intimacy based on the single fact that they don’t have that seperating sin within them. It doesn’t surprise me that non-Christians would absolutely need this kind of behavior to create intimacy.

(3) To seperate that person from everyone else because you “do more” with them than other girls?
——————————————–
A relationship between Christians, just by very definition should be completely Christ centered and thus be different from everyone else. You won’t need to seperate this person from others because your lifestyle and behaviors will do that by themselves.

(4)To have fun
——————————————–
This has many possible points to talk about. First, from a secular perspective, according to psychologist Dr. William Glasser, “fun” is “the genetic reward for learning.” According to him, it is a natural by-product of learning something. If that is true, what are you learning from kissing? The shape of their mouth? Secondly, from a Christian perspective, “fun” is merely a human construct for the feeling one recieves when something is done for the sole gratification of oneself. This goes against not only the very nature of God, but also the common sense of a successful relationship. A relationship is built on self-sacrifice, not self-gratification. Not that a relationship shouldn’t be fun. I really believe that a relationship needs to be that way to survive; I’m just saying that as Christians, our definition of “fun” should be modified into something deeper than the feeling experienced when one makes out with someone. (See response to #5 below for further expoundation [is that a word?])

(5)To feel that little “warm fuzzy”
——————————————-
Lastly, “warm fuzzies” are just special kinds of emotions that can change with the wind just as much as anything else. (one hearkens back to the Proverbs verse: “the hearts of men are wicked and their minds deceitful”) We should trust God can and will give us God-granted and God-willed emotions. These are the only true, real, pure, and long-lasting emotions worth trusting in and enjoying. Fun also applies to this as well.

Okay, so there you have it. My decision and some of my reasons why. I am so in love with my furture wife, not only do I want to save as much for her that I can give as much to her, but part of that I know entails me become a man completely focused on God in everything I do apart from my wife as well. Bottom line: this is what God has called me to right now. It may change in a week, when a meet a girl, or get engaged, but right now, God has called me to do this, so I shall.

On a side note, it’s really not like I have a bunch of girls to kiss or anything. I really haven’t kissed that many girls (compared to the world’s standards)and I don’t want anyone to think that I have this crazy past that God is delivering me from; it’s not like that at all.

Anyway, I suppose that’s it. Please pray for me, for I know that Satan is going to throw a lot of chances all of a sudden for me to fall. Whoever my future wife is, I love you. God, I love you more.

God Bless,
— Paul<

God is good; all the time. And all the time . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

Last night Mike on my floor got saved!!!!

I have been taking him to a lot of church functions, talking to him, and praying for him for a while now. He has had the desire and belief in God all his life, but had never turly made that real decision to make Jesus his Lord and accepting his salvation. I’m still working with him and discipling him, but he better know that this is only the beginning of a long, awesome, difficult journey.

Last night, God really hit me and showed me his glory in a new way. It was so invigorating!! Part of me thinks I got more out of Mike’s salvation experience than he did (though I know not).

Also last night, my IV Small Group had one of the most incredible testominoy and prayer meetings ever. I mean, there was SO MUCH PRAYER!!! In the words of my fellow Harvest Renewers “It WAS GOOD!” It is so amazing that there are groups of guys that without their parents forcing them are coming out tp prayer for their fellow men of Christ. It gives me hope for the future that this next generation of men will actually be able to please women and treat them the way they are meant to and actually be successful in making them happy and raising Godly men. These guys are so awesome and incredible! I get so lifted up and encouraged by them. It is the way the family of God should actually be. They will rebuke me, praise me (or rather God’s ability to be expressed through me), lift me up, teach me, and allow me to do the same for them.

Speaking of, tomorrow I am sending in my application to join the Intervaristy Leadership staff. I am planning to apply to the positions of Small Group Leader and Praise team member. I am so excited about the Small Group Leader position. I hopefully will be paired up with my awesome brother in Christ Matt Robinett (also a fellow Harvest Renewer). The Praise Team position I am kind of nervous about, though. Admittedly, from singing a lot more in my car, just this past week, that wall that had been before my voice and making it not very powerful or not sounding very good was broken. Now I can sing again; but I’ve always been nervous singing. That’s why I want to play lead guitar in the praise band like I used to do back home, rather than singing. Unfortunately (though I feel God leading me to this), I am being told that all of our male voices will be gone next year, leaving me to have to fill the vocal spot rather than the guitar spot. That’s nerve racking, to say the least, but I keep being reminded that just as God is glorified in the folly of our words (1 Corinthians 1), he will also be glorified through the folly of my pitch and vocal quality. Whatever needs to be done to glorify God and expand His Kingdom. I feel like this is only the first glorious step on my new journey with Christ. It really feels like I am stepping through a door. Kinda like Dorothy stepping out of the black and white and entering the new world of the color. In the past several months I have had my view of God reformed, reshaped, and added upon, so that I have a new image of the God I worship. I really feel like this new world I am stepping into is the one that I am now meant to apply these new truths and perspectives. GOD IS SO INCREDIBLE!!!! He really is. He is a living God. Real, breathing, dynamic and real to every true believer; constantly showing and revealing himself to me NOT so I can just sit there and say “oh, that’s neat” but rather to go out and use the new perspective to glorify God by expanding His Kingdom by bringing as many people as I can to a faith in Christ.

Okay . . . I am just going to put the pulpit away right now. I’ll have plenty of time to do that later.

Anyway, I am going. Sorry for the lack of update to the Bible sites. That is changing. Pray for me and my family always, but things are changing and coming back to the way they are supposed to be.

God be glorified and lifted up.

Last piece of advice to everyone out there: Don’t fight it; just do as you’re told; Go and make disciples of all nations, okay?

— Paul<

singleness revised . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

My campus minister read my previous post and had some really good thoughts that actually changed a lot of the way I look at this topic.
He said…
——————————————————–
Hmmmm…

Interesting thoughts. You bring up many points worthy of discussion (unfortunately, typing on a computer doesn’t constitute a conversation, so I will simply make some comments… my two cents, if you will).

I would argue that God’s pronouncement that man not having a “helper fit for him” was “not good” does not necessitate that Adam felt any “need” for a companion (or that he was lonely, sad, or any other related emotion). The text is silent as to the emotional state of Adam. I think it safe to assume that Adam had no emotional response for having no helper fit for him (or, at the very least, his emotion response was inconsequential… if it were not, surly mention would have been made of it). From a strictly logical standpoint, how can one miss (or yearn for) what he as never known. In other words, how can Adam desire a woman (wife) when woman didn’t exist? However, if by chance Adam was “feeling alone”, it seems unlikely (and against the nature of a Sovereign God) that He looked at Adam and saw him upset about being alone and this in turn caused God to say, “I guess it is not good what I made… Adam is clearly alone and he needs me to make him a helper.” If God is simply reactionary to our emotions (more specifically, the emotions of the first man) I believe this belittles God supremacy and places man at the center of all things (A place he was not created to occupy – ref. Romans 11.36). I think the safest exposition here is that God’s declaration of man being alone was just that, a declaration.

(ok.. I just had like an hour long interruption, so I have basically lost my train of thought… must go read again)

In paragraph 2 there seems to be a pre-supposition that singleness = pain. While I can easily remember the desire to find “the one” when I was single, I definitely do not think that singleness should be considered painful (Paul… uh, the apostle, obviously thought that being single was pretty great – ref. 1 Corinthians 7.7).

QUOTE: but rather only in looking towards God and seeking Him can we find the person that can fill that void. — While I don’t think there is a void, I do really like this point and believe it applicable to all areas of life (ref – Matthew 6.33).

So, the 20 million dollar question from the third to last paragraph is, “if the next girl you date is not going to be your wife… why date her?” :o) I couldn’t resist. the real question is what is the purpose of dating? In “the church” there are so many opinions and terms in relation to dating and courtship… I consider it most critical that all single men and women examine his or her approach to relationships and truly seek to come to what they believe is God’s plan. Society has really messed things up and I think it is time for our generation to regain a proper approach to relationships and end this culture of divorce that prevails everywhere.

QUOTE: As long as I seek His will, everything else will fall into place.

— “Amen”

Well, I’m going home. Thanks for making me think.

_ryan

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

~socrates

—————————————————-
I think he is absolutely right, actually. Usually I’m not so easily swayed in these kind of things, but after reading his response, I couldn’t help but rethink things. I guess that’s why he’s the discipler and I’m the disciplee. Though I would argue the purpose of dating to be to get to know people, learn the dynamics of relationships, help you learn how to relate to others of the opposite sex, and so on; I totally think that modern society has distorted its function and form. Personally, I’m more of a fan of the courting method, but seeing as it’s hard to find others that agree, I think the same goals can be served through dating if done correctly with God as the center of the relationship. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and my campus minister is an example of that. The story of how him and his wife got together is amazing, and I am persoanlly aiming for that kind of relationship with someone, completely grounded and founded in friendship, selfless love, and Christ as the head. Other than the dating point, I totally agree with Ryan. Having someone romantically in your life should not be necessary to effectively serve God. In fact, many times (as Ryan points out about Paul, the apostle) being single is exactly what God calls people to be because you can better serve God in that capacity. Ryan told me one of the most amazing things the other day as we left lunch at Chipotle (yeah baby!). I told him about the loneliness I was feeling and that I was such a hopeless romantic I had all this “romanticism” built up inside of me (not sexual tension, mind you) and I really wanted someone I cared about so I could just shower them with this. He asked me to consider what that meant. What did it mean to “shower someone” with that? Inevitably, I realized, the outworking of those feelings would eventually become a physical manifestation of them, which would cause the inevitable physical complications found in most relationsips that I, admittedly, thought I was above by now. This made me praise God that He has in fact kept me from a relationship in the past few years that would become prey to the same complications that evey “normal” and secualr relationship falls to. Even as I write this, dating, or rather, serious relationships, or seeming more and more useless and in fact harmful to my Christian walk. I want to thank Ryan for saying that and making realize that even that romance I should be saving for my future wife, not just the physical manifestations thereof, and want to thank God that he has kept me pure thus far, and will continue to do so for my future wife, whoever she may be. So, whoever she will be, I love you, and just know that all this is being done, said, and worked out in me so that I can give you the most of me that I can.

God Bless, everyone,

— Paul <

singleness . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 3 Comments

God really hit me tonight with some realizations about singleness. It all started with “the beginning . . .”: Genesis.

Most everybody knows the creation story pretty well. Most people know that after each thing that God created, He said “It is good.” Well, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but the first time that God ever says the phrase “It is not good” is in Genesis 2:18. The verse says:

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

This showed me a few things. Mainly, people are meant to be together. It is “not good” for people to be alone. We have each been created with that inbred desire for companionship. That pain of loneliness that we have all experienced at some point or another – some more often than others (speaking from personal experience) is a feeeling that comes natural to man. Notice also that God was saying this was “not good” before the fall of man. That means that the craving for someone to be with is a pain that is not a consequence of our sin nature.

Following this logic, it is not a bad thing to feel this pain and experience it; it is not an evidence of spiritual deficiency or lack in anyway. Also, if this is a pain that comes from being human, it is a hunger that can only be truly satiated by God. I’m not saying that God Himself is supposed to fill that need, but rather only in looking towards God and seeking Him can we find the person that can fill that void. That said, if we are trusting God, then we can know that if we are experiencing singleness and the pain that goes along with it, it is only because God can be glorified greater through us being single than with someone. Thus, (here I indict myself some) we should accept the pain for what it is and embrace it, because it will only be that much sweeter when we do find someone.

Also, these verses and the meditations reaffirmed even more my love and respect for women. Anyone that knows me knows the pedestal I put woman as a whole upon. I’m so old-fashioned, it frustrates some girls sometimes. Opening doors, doing the driving, and paying for them, is the proper way to treat a woman. Don’t worry, I’m not overbearing. I’ve always said that women were God’s greatest gift to mankkind. This verse supports that. John MacArthur said on his biblcal commentary on this verse that “This verse points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency.” Amen. Psychologically speaking, women can set off chemicals and psychological responses in men that men could only dream about doing to women. The greatness of women are the reason they have my utmost respect and honor. I just can’t wait for my wife. I dream of treating her as much like a queen as I possibly can.

In response to that, I conclude with this verse (one of my new favorites):

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

— Romans 8:24-25

I pray to God for my future wife every day, and I just want to thank Him for her now, whoever she will be. I may have met her, I may have not; but in the meantime I’m madly in love with her. Don’t think I’m this weird creepy guy. I’m not. I’m just an overly-romantic dorky guy. I’ll keep dating. I’m not expecting the next girl I date or even my next girlfriend to be my wife. God will lead me to her, I don’t need to hurry things along. Learning from my parents, I am not going to prematurely marry the next person I feel “warm-fuzzies” for. In fact, I sometimes fear I’m going to be too picky.

Right now, apparently God has called me to singleness and it definitely has glorified Him, even though it has definitely been painful. I’ve been ready for a relationship for a while, but I’m not going to look for it and end up screwing something/someone up. My creed when it comes to any realtionship is to take it slow.

Something inside of me though does feel like someone is coming my way. . . I don’t know. Whatever God wants. As long as I seek His will, everything else will fall into place.

God Bless,

— Paul <

here I go . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

I’m sitting in my office chair after my shower and preparing to go to my very first class of my second semester in college. Wish me luck.

Anyway, last night I set up two new blogs of mine. They are both God-inspired, independent Bible studies I am doing on my own with the help of some historical info and the Holy Spirit. It’s going to be good. I am going to use them to post daily bible studies in. Right now, I am working on posting a study on the book of 1 John, and there is a site on the book of Hebrews I am about to start. Also I’m tossing around the idea of posting the daily devotional by Oswald Chambers, “My Utmost For His Highest” in another blog. That would be awesome. In fact, that may be up before day’s end. Well, anyway, check out the Bible studies, mainly the one on 1 John. Here are the sites:

1 John Bible study:

http://www.BookOf1John.wordpress.com

Hebrews Bible study:

http://www.BookOfHebrews.wordpress.com

God Bless and have a wonderful day . . .

— Paul <

Semester numero dos . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

Well, I’m back at school now. I couldn’t access the blog during the entire break, which really annoyed me, especially because I needed to remove that last post (don’t ask!). My first night was perfect. Church and then Phantom of the Opera. Talk about heavenly. Everyone must see that movie, it is amazing! As of tonight, I’ve seen it five times. That’s more than I’ve ever seen a single movie in theaters before. Enough talk of that.

For all the Christians out there: Really pray for my academics this year. I’m taking 17.5 hours of classes and they’re are all so random, they are so going to screw up my head. Let’s see . . . I’m taking a religious studies class, psychology class, criminal justice class, latin class, english class, and an honors module. The hardest thing is that these are all upperclassman classes. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into! I always seem to get in over my head a lot.

Well, it’s 3:30 in the morning right now, and I wanted to go to pray at Harvest Renewal church at 7:30, so I should probably go . . . . yeah, it was great talking to you . . . oh, thanks, but really, you were the better listener . . . no, really . . . well, okay, if you insist . . . thank you . . . okay, bye bye . . . you too . . . sweet dreams . . . bye.

I am such a dork

*click*

God . . . again . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

ha-ha! I am back in the work force!

My previous job (that I still lost) was selling tickets to school groups that wanted to see the plays that my company (Theatre IV) was putting on in various parts of the east side of the country. These plays are put on by our groups of touring actors at various theatre venues that we rent out. Okay, so anyway, I lost that job.

Theatre IV is connected to those touring shows, shows that happen here in Richmond just down Broad Street in the beautiful, historic, Empire Theatre, and shows that happen down in Willow Lawn Shopping Center at Barksdale Theatre. In other words, all those things are connected under the same company.

The founders of the company, Phil Whiteway and Bruce Miller, work in my office building so I see them a lot.

Needless to say, I have come out very much on their good side, and that’s a good thing, for both of them were voted two of the 100 most influential people in Richmond. I had one talk with Phil, and he set me up with an interview and praise with Sarah who works with Barksdale Theatre. Because of his praise, she said when I walked in the interview: “This isn’t going to be a normal interview. If Phil says you’re good, then you’re good, so I’m just going to ask you for your availibility.” So I have a job to come back to after break. Actually, two jobs.

My biggest job is my new position as the “House Manager” of Barksdale Theatre, one of, it not the most high brow professional theatre here in Richmond. Also, I am going to be working the box office for Empire Theatre.

I’m telling you, when God puts a peace in your heart where you feel like everything is going to be okay, he means it. I had that peace from the beginning as my post only two days ago showed. And look at all he’s done. This is a huge step fpr me professionally. The House Manager job itself has so much responsibility, it’s crazy they’re letting a Freshman college student do it.

Anyway, to anyone that prayed for me, thank you so much. It helped.

God Bless,

— Paul<

life . . . again . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

well, today I lost my job. I work a work study job here off campus. When the initial paperwork went thrugh, VCU told my employer I was availible for it. Now it says I never was. Thus, I have no job starting next semester. Sure it’s a bummer, but this does a lot for me:

1- It clears my day time schedule so I can take better classes I need.

2- Doing the first thing will clear my nights so I can do some plays around town and actually go to rehearsals.

3- It gives me the oppurtinity to find another job that could further my career.

4- It will help my life slow down and be less stressful.

5- It gives me the possibility to do things around the theatre on weekends that will actually give me something to do.

6- It gives me the chance to start actually utilizing great connections I have made here

7- Most importantly, though, it gives me a situation where I can do nothing else but surrender to God, and see him work. Though I’ve spent the first few months of school kind of distant to God, as I get close to Him again, I welcome this chance to see him work completely and fully in my life to do as he wishes. I pray that God be seen through this situation, and I pray that I don’t get discouraged as my search for a job may yield few fruits.

If my understanding of, and faith in, Christ is to increase, these situations must be necessary in my life, to help me grow stronger and closer to God. They’re the only way. If life was perfect all the time, what little faith we would need of God! What little chance would we get to delight in Him! To glorify Him!

Even though I seem cheery, it’s only because deep inside my soul I feel a sense of comfort andsecurity that everything will be okay. That’s not to imply that the very human side of me doesn’t want to just sit around and depress. It does. It really does. This post, though, is more for me than anyone who reads it. It’s my therapy- my way of trying to see the possibilities of God, because sometimes life gets so crazy it’s hard to. I’m not a completely unfeeling human being who has there head in the clouds and thinks he never goes through tribulation, because I do, and this is that; but just as God commands me to do, I will “Take heart” and see God’s hand in it. Just as Pastor Robert said last night. “God is so much bigger than us. He moves entire empires and rulers for his purposes. Why do we worry about the small things of life. God is most glorified, when we are most satisfied in Him.”

Amen.

God my I glorify you, by becoming saisfied in you.

— Paul <

some great quotes . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

I’m reading this book right now called “Desiring God” by John Piper. I just really started today and it has some incredible things to say. It’s basic thesis is that the pleasure we receive when we glorify God, is glorifying God. In other words, it is our duty and responsibility to take as much delight and pleasure in God, because that is what truly glorifies him in the end. It’s a concept called Christian Hedonism. It is full of amazing quotes and I’m just going to insert those quotes into this blog whenever I reach one to share them with the world!!

Quote from C.S. Lewis’ sermon “The Weight of Glory”:

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering anture of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

damage control . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

So, what do I say to follow up yesterday’s post? Maybe I should post a list of people that I will let into heaven and those who I won’t. Based on how some people are acting towards me, that’s exactly what they expect me to do. In response to some of the responses, it seems necessary to me, to tell everyone my true perspective on judging others. I thought I had expressed this enough, but apparently, people’s view of me is slightly skewed. Okay, here I go . . .

First, off, I want to complain to other conservative Christians today. Most Christians wander around in their little bubble judging all others who are outside of it. Christ explicitly gave a charge to all Christians to “be in the world, but not of it.” Most Christians today that aren’t bold about their faith generally are “in” the world and “of” it. Most Christians today that are bold about their faith, like me, have a tendency to be neither “in” the world nor “of” it. When Abraham was coming down down from I think Mt. Sinai, the road forked in front of him. He had a choice to make. First, to go down the left road to Ai, a city of lust, thievery, sin, and abomination, or go to the right to the city of Bethel, a city that was holy, pure, and God-honoring. Where did Abraham go? According to Genesis, Abraham pitched his tent “between Bethel and Ai.” We as Christians are not meant to spend our whole lives in the holy city, nor in the unholy city. You must find the balance between the two. It’s a very difficult thing to do, but it must be done. Many Christians follow what I was venting about in my previous posting: they change for the world. Many others, though do the opposite, they remove themselves from reality.

My dad refers to these Christians as those who are “too heavenly-minded to be of any earthly good.” I personally believe these Christians pose the biggest threat to Christianity as a whole. They not only have created the stereotype of Christians, but have reinforced it in every way. It is these Christians that prevent me from being able to put a post up on my site that expresses my opinions and not have everyone think it feeds right into the stereotype.

All my life, I have heard from every type of person out there that I am the only Christian they have known that is not at all “of” the world, but it also not completely “out” of it. Sensitive to others but not compromising to myself. Most people here at VCU also have said that, except for a few.

To all “the few”: as my Social Psych teacher said about the student evaluations of his course he received, “the majority of these are great and positive for me, with only some people giving a negative evaluation, of which there are varying degrees. So many opinions, yet I’m still the same person! I did the same things with all of you! thus, following statistics, my true abilities and evaluations must be based on the majority of evaluations, of which most were very positive!”

I don’t blame all those that may have received the wrong impression of the way I am, I really don’t. When most of your experience with bold Christians has been of a certain type, you will be looking for certain behaviors, and will just naturally put more emphasis on those behaviors that match your mental schema for Christians more rightly.

I am a Southern Baptist. At least when it comes to beliefs and doctrine, I am a hardcore Southern Baptist. When it comes to my practices, my way of carrying myself, and conduct myself, I am not the typical Southern Baptists. Most Southern Baptists that are strong in their belief can be characterized by how they judge others. They do it constantly, incessantly, all the time! They seem to have forgotten that in the Bible, God says that all sin is equal in the eyes of God. This one thing holds many ramifications.

One, it smashes the “i’m a good person, so i can go to heaven” myth. In God’s eyes, every sin is equal, so as long as you’re a sinning human being, you are on the same level as every one else on earth. The only determining factor for heaven is whether or not one has dedicated their life and faith to Christ and has fully accepted his forgiveness.

Two, it shows that no human has the right to judge another fro their sins. This especially applies to Christians, and definitely applies to me. Under no circumstances do I – can I – see myself better in God’s eyes than another person. Until I stop sinning, I am right there with every other person. When I put up things like that last post, it is done knowing full well my own faults and sins.

On the last post, I simply gave a commentary on my personal frustration in my relationships here at school with people that seem to be changing, actually, more like compromising within their lives/lifestyles. A couple of arguments I heard tonight against my post: This is the first time people are thinking for themselves, thus they will change. The change is inevitable. My answer: Yes, change, is inevitable, and it will happen and it should. But, if these kind of truly positive maturing changes would be made, the vast majority of college students’ standards would not be lowering dramatically. There would be mostly positive changes, or slightly lower standards as people try to see what things are “wrong” and “right.” This is not maturation, this is not experimentation, it is all out stereotypical rebellion against the way one was raised. It’s cliche by now. It’s so utterly predictable that it has become the norm. The general rule nowadays in college is no longer to try and rise above the faults of their parents, but rather to disregard their parents all together. Does no one else see this? Another argument I heard was that I was trying to impose my morality as a standard for all other to follow, and if they don’t follow it they are seemingly evil horrible people. First off, no, they are not seemingly horrible evil people, they have just become the norm. Secondly, recall that my commentary was on everyone changing, and those changes usually consisting of a lowering of one’s personal standards that they had before going into college. I don’t care if it’s from someone thinking it’s wrong to kiss someone to actually kissing someone, or someone believing it’s wrong to drugs and ending up doing them. In both cases, they fit my commentary on the lowering of one’s personal standards that they had before college.

The most difficult part of being a parent is getting your children to internalize the morals you teach them. Getting them to make your morals their morals. By the age of 18, when you enter college usually, you should have internalized those morals, or at least a certain set of morals even if they aren’t your parent’s. College should be after you know what standard your living by and any change to that standard should logically only be a change up. This is why I see people with very similar upbringings to me starting to lose their standards. They don’t seem to have internalized their moral system at all, thus they have none when they come to college. They are still living their life through their parents. No matter what anybody may want to think of me, one thing I am not is spoon fed to be a walking carbon copy of my parents. I know what I bleieve, why I believe it, and have tested those beliefs whenever I can, and every time they have come out right; and I’m willing to defend those beliefs at anytime to anyone.

Okay, that was a lot of damage control. Under no circumstances will I change what I have already typed previously. I’m not apologizing for any of it either. I just want to let everybody know I really don’t think I am more pure, good, or holy than any one else out there. I really do love everyone that I have a relationship with, and I just hate to see them change their standards – the very blueprint by which they make their decisions. Just remember that, please. I am not judging, only expressing concern for this apparent characteristic of our generation. I really think we can do more, and I hope to meet more people that only want to raise the standards of their behaviors socially, morally, spiritually, and personally.

Once again God Bless and please leave comments!!!

–Paul<

life isn’t good, it isn’t bad; it’s just annoying . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

why do people change? I mean, I know that freshman year is supposed to be a transitional period in one’s life, but not to change into another person!!!!

Why is it that the only person I know that hasn’t changed his way of life, his ideals, his morals, and his standards is the one that drinks, smokes, and gets high in his bathroom. Everyone else is changing into new people, and no one is turning into a better person. Everyone is changing downhill.

I just needed to vent. It hurts, you know. These aren’t selfish feelings I’m having, they’re really not. I just love everyone in my life so much, I want them to stay above everything they used to be above doing. In the end, though, everone will make their way. God gave every person free will, and I have no right to try to take it away from them. It just hurts. I feel sad, disgusted, pained, bittersweet, morose, hopeful, and hopeless all at the same time.

These are feelings I really shouldn’t have, and I know I should be giving them up to God, and I will. I am. It’s just a process, you know. For all the other Christians out there, please pray for me as I continue to try and fight the influences all around me, and pray to give me the strength not to put my faith in other people, because you can’t. They will always let you down. That’s the very essence of our sinful natures, and the very reason Christ died. So we could put our faith in someone and delight in him always. And delight I will. Until my dying day.

God Bless,

–Paul<