Praise

A Portrait of the Artist as God

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

dscf0039.jpg

Summer is over. The autumn rains
Have descended like tears from an invisible god.
I lie on this rock, the ringing of the isle’s name
                                                                    drips off my ear
along with the stampede of water rushing
                                                             rushing through the silence

Clothed with beauty,
                              I began to understand,
The source of Jupiter-Zeus
And begin to form my own mythology
Within the realm of reality

I see the personality of the wind
The fright of the trees
                                the whispers of the water
The art of the sky the song of nature
My altar erected
                        I now understand

The quiver of twigs
                            the movement of fingers
through the hair of some autumn goddess
Golden; beloved and adored above all the others.

Birds in silent homage,
                                  while sabbatical flowers fall.
I smell the smell of my sacrifice
                                               burning at the altar
of my gods and goddesses as I long to merge.
Be made a tree,
                        the breeze
                                        the ground.

To know and experience all that I love
As lovers
              in one embrace
One flesh of flesh
                          Dust of dust.

My heart in one accord, in that which I was made for
Worship of somethings someone anything
                                                             never nothing
In hopes of finding joy.
                                   But,
As I lie in the midst of beauty’s nature’s beauty
I grow sad because:
For although they knew him,
                                          they did not honor him as such
or give thanks to him,
                                but they became futile in their thinking,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Claiming to be wise,
                              they became fools,
and exchanged the glory of the immortal for images
resembling mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Because they exchanged the truth about him for a lie
and worshiped and served the creation rather than
                                                                          the Creator.

And I am no different.

Dear,

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

God,

How I love thee as I sin,

How I love thee as I cry;

How I love the as I look upon

The work your hands have made.

But I fear I fall more and more

In love with You for Your Works,

when

I want to fall in love with you.

Re: Dear,

I am in my works

I am He:

Who was,

and is,

and is to come.

I am.

I am He who gives mercy on whom I will,

And I have

opened your eyes

Given you life, given you freedom

And you have taken my mercy,

My favored child whom I love.

This, this Beauty before you: Take it.

I give freely to you; Love it.

Partake in all my Goodness- Taste it.

Come, rest thy head in me

My beloved child whom I love.

Yes, cry.

Feel it.

Feel me more in you,

and to you,

and through you.

Seek not me ( because you can’t).

Just fix your eyes,

open your arms,

and allow Me

To allure you with all that is before you;

Allow me to smash your idols as I

Whisper tenderly in your ear:

Sweet Everythings

Child,

I plea,

I cry,

I run,

I will,

I endeavor,

I die

That you will allow this burden to fall

And just taste

(that’s all you will need,

but return as you might,

To all Beauty I surround you with.)

Child, just taste and you will see

I am Good.

I do all things for the sake of my children,

Child.

I love you.

Enjoy,

Just read this

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

In my Old Testament class, we just finished a unit on the prophets. During that unit, I had the privilege of reading Hosea. Now, I did my own personal study on the minor prophets a while ago, and by far, Hosea is my favorite. I think it may well be my favorite book in the whole Bible, and this is primarily because of Chapter 2. Thus, I wish to post may favorite selections of Chapter 2. Here, God is using the metaphor of husband and wife to show the outworking of his relationship with Israel: God is the husband and his wife is Israel. When Israel worships other deities (in this case, the Baals), God considers it adultery, but when they worship him, it is consummation. This parallels to the rest of the church today, so count yourself in the reciept of these words if you have been seized upon by the gospel of God.

CONTEXT: God has just called the prophet Hosea to act out God’s feelings towards Israel by marrying a prostitute and then sending her away after she cheats on him, just as God has done with Israel it this point. Just sense the passion God has as he says these things. The following are selections from Hosea 2. For the full text, click here:

Plead with your mother, plead–
for she is not my wife,
and I am not her husband–
that she put away her whoring from her face,
and her adultery from between her breasts.
Upon her children I will have no mercy,
because they are children of whoredom.
For their mother has played the whore;
she who conceived them has acted shamefully.
For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers.”
Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns,
and I will build a wall against her,
so that she cannot find her paths.
She shall pursue her lovers
but not overtake them,
and she shall seek them
but shall not find them.

Then she shall say,
‘I will go and return to my first husband,
for it was better for me then than now.’
And she did not know
that it was I who gave her
the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and who lavished on her silver and gold,
which they used for Baal.

Therefore I will take back
my grain in its time,
and my wine in its season,
and I will take away my wool and my flax,
which were to cover her nakedness.
Now I will uncover her lewdness
in the sight of her lovers,
and no one shall rescue her out of my hand.
And I will lay waste her vines and her fig trees,
of which she said,
‘These are my wages,
which my lovers have given me.’
I will make them a forest,
and the beasts of the field shall devour them.
And I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals
when she burned offerings to them
and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry,
and went after her lovers
and forgot me, declares the LORD.

Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of trouble a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.

And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD,
I will answer the heavens,
and they shall answer the earth,
and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and I will sow her for myself in the land.
And I will have mercy on those I called ‘No Mercy’,
and I will say to those called ‘Not My People’, ‘You are my people’;
and he shall say, ‘You are my God.'”

**Some punctuation and preposotions have been changed for continuity.

–paul<

A Portrait of the Artist as God

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

Summer is over. The autumn rains
Have descended like tears from an invisible god.
I lie on this rock, the ringing of the isle’s name
drips off my ear
along with the stampede of water rushing
rushing through the silence

Clothed with beauty,
I began to understand,
The source of Jupiter-Zeus
And begin to form my own mythology
Within the realm of reality

I see the personality of the wind
The fright of the trees
the whispers of the water
The art of the sky the song of nature
My altar erected;
I now understand

My heart in one accord, in that which I was made for
Worship of somethings someone anything
never nothing
In hopes of finding joy.

But,
As I lie in the midst of beauty’s nature’s beauty
I grow sad because:
For although they knew him,
they did not honor him as such
or give thanks to him,
but they became futile in their thinking,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Claiming to be wise,
they became fools,
and exchanged the glory of the immortal for images
resembling mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Because they exchanged the truth about him for a lie
and worshiped and served the creation rather than
the Creator.

And I am no different.

i’m wet

/ Paul Burkhart / 2 Comments

as the title implies, at this very moment, I am soaking wet. It is currently 4:08 in the morning in Richmond, Virginia. I was sitting here all alone in my current apartment (Matt and Dan’s place, for those of you that know) when it started raining like crazy outside. Me being the romantic I am, I grabbed a lawn chair, took my Bible out there and started reading on the front porch. After finishing Proverbs 23, I, to be frank, felt led by God to spend time with Him in the rain. So, not wanting to disappoint Him, I went out. i was probably out there, in the pouring rain, all my clothes on for about 30 to 45 minutes, just pacing around the courtyard talking to God. At points I was on my knees, others I was kneeling, others bowing. He spoke to me about a lot of things, some I’ll share, others I won’t, but He just reaffirmed His prescence and authority in my life.

For those of you who have tuned in maybe to catch the last part on my series on the Godly woman and Godly man in the Bible, I am sorry to disspoint you, but I will not finish it. As I was praying to God, or rather, as God was leading me in prayer (as is generally the case), he laid on my heart a new desire. I told him: “God, I don’t want a godly woman, I don’t want a woman, I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want marriage, I don’t want a wife, I don’t want love. All I want is you.” i was reminded of the prophet Hosea, who was called by God to love and marry an adulturous wife, knowing she would be unfaithful. Now, I don’t think God is calling me to that, but I was just reminded that Hosea’s primary concern was the will of God, not his desires. I could come up with the profile of the perfect woman, but to what end? For me to seek her? No! That is using the printed words of the Bible to comfort my own lack of faith rather than following the Spirit those words were written in. All I need to do is become the man I need to be and God will form my wife into who she needs to be and he will deliver us to eachother Then, and only then, when God leads me to, I will pursue her.

My favorite passage in the Bible on a relationship is between Isaace and Rebekah in Gensis. Long story short, Isaac tells his servants to go to a neighboring town, seek out the woman that is the most self-sacrificing, and bring her back to be his wife. That is where I am. I am Issac, and God is preparing my wife until she is ready to be brought into my life by Him. In that story, when Rebekah is beign brought back to Isaac, what is Isaac doing? Is he writing blog entries about the way she needs to be? Is he getting his bed ready? Is he getting a haircut to get ready for her? No. Genesis 24:63-65 says, “Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming. And Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel and said to the servant, ‘Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?’ The servant said, ‘It is my master.’ So she took her veil and convered herself.”

From this passage you can notice a few things: First, the Hebrew word translated here as “meditate” is the word “Suwach.” Most translations have a little footnote next to it in the Bible, saying “the meaning of this word is uncertain.” This is the only place in all of Scripture that this word is used. In other words, this word is special; used only here and is ambiguous in its meaing. I’m not an expert in Hebrew, but most translations make this word mean “meditate,” so I suppose there is a way to be uncertain about a meaning but know what it generally means. In short, Isaac was purely out in the field meditating on God. The Amplified version of the bible translates the word as “bow down,” obviously towards God. Whatever this word means specifically, generally it is definitely a verb of communing, speaking, musing and meditating on the higher power above. This is what Isaac was doing as he waited for his wife. The second thing to notice, is that from whatever Isaac was doing in the field translated as “meditating” the same Hebrew word meaning “to look up” is used to describe the action of both Isaac AND Rebekah upon seeing eachother for the first time. In other words, the exact same action used by Isaac to stop his “meditating” to look towards his future wife was the exact same action taken by Rebekah upon looking towards him. This makes me think she was also meditating in some way as well. Lastly, notice that when she realized this man was to be her husband, she “took her veil and covered herself.” I believe this symbolizes how the girl should guard her heart and not expose to much of herself to her husband. More specifically, I believe there is a part of you that you should only show to your spouse once married. An intimate, spiritual, deep part that should only be shown to and seen y your spouse. I believe this is what Rebekah was doing. This veil stood as a barrier between her and her husband that remained there until the moment they were married. It was only after that, he could see all of her.

In short, I believe the first two posts on the godly woman were in fact led by God to be written, but I believe God has led me to end it where it was for whatever greater purpose He has. There is sufficient enough info for people to take the verses and do with them what they may, without my two cents of interpretation.

Man, I really did not expect to write that much on relationships, AGAIN. I suppose that is an appropriate ending to the Godly Woman According to Proverbs. Well that’s it. This post is already so long; I had so many other revelations and musings from God from this awesome night, but it woudl seem so out of place with all I’ve written so long. So . . . I guess I will just save it for another night, at another time, or rather, as God inspires me to type.

God Bless all of you always, and remember. He is God. HE is God. He IS God. He is GOD. And we have fellowship and communion with Him. Man, that’s good.

–Paul<

-P.S. in case you’re wondering, it is currently 5:09 AM

just read

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

I couldn’t think of any non-cliche title for this post, hence the simple interrogative imperative (is that even a possible grammatical construct?). If anyone even considers reading this whole post, I encourage you to do so. It’s really not as long as it seems seeing as there are many quotes that take up a lot of space.

Any Christian out there knows that the Christian life is dynamic to say the least. The campus minister from my church is currently with many others from my church in Latvia doing missions work. We’ve exchanged a few E-Mails mainly about me mowing his lawn, but on the most recent E-Mail, I ended with this P.P.S.:

P.P.S. – On a personal note; Ryan, I need your prayers so badly. Today was one of the worst days of my life. Nothing huge huge occurred it was just the entire day was just BAD. On my way to work I got into an accident (nothing too serious), was at fault, got a ticket, the other guy involved said his arm was hurt (possibly broken), and I had the worst customers I have ever had as a waiter. Add on top of that I am so distant from God. I am becoming more and more worldlier everyday and am falling deeper and deeper into lust,worry, and my new sin that I never thought I’d fall into: DOUBT. The thoughts of whether all this (God, Holy Spirit giftings, salavation,etc.) is real or if everything I experience with the Holy Spirit is all emotional and made up within my head. The thoughts come and go ever so slightly and silently, but they are there nonetheless and I have never gone through it before. My soul feels like it is reeling and I am being attacked by so much all around me and everything but God has control over me. I haven’t read God’s word in days, and the last time I did, it was completely dead to me for the first time that I can remember. You know, I don’t even know why I am complaining; I know exactly how to get out of this, I’m just not doing it. All I can ask for is your prayers, Ryan. I feel so alone, restless, bereaved,downtrodden, lost, confused, and directionless. Each day I feel weighted down more and more with the further realization of my carnality and sinfulness. Everything is starting to fall apart all around me in my life, and I’ve just let it happen. I am so tired, so weak. I want to pray for you guys so bad, and I’ve tried, but I just feel like I’m spouting words – that’s it! Dead lifeless words that really mean nothing. I know you have so many things in your life to worry about, and you are on a missions trip,but just please do it. I need that strength. Sorry for being so unoriginally whiney. I’m sorry if I unintentionally put too big or distracting a burden on your shoulders with this. Just stay the course and do what you’re there to do.

That was probably last Saturday or so. Last Sunday I went to my church’s evening service still feeling this way. Before I walked in, I sat in my car and prayed to God to break me and do whatever was needed to get me where he wanted me to be. And let’s just say he did; big time. I’m not saying there was any completely life shaking truths revealed or that I realized I wasn’t saved, or I rededicated my life to Christ; we just had some good time together. After the normal sermon, the visiting pastor felt led by God to open the altar for prayer for anyone needing some for issues about there parents. It was so random and perfect (see the long post before the most previous short post) it could only have been God. I got prophesied over and really felt God’s reassuring nature over me and my life. God just showed me that he is still here.

After the service, I went to Church Hill in downtown Richmond, a hill that over looks the enitre city of Richmond (it is the best view in Richmond). I took my Bible out there and just had son Father/Son time with my only real “Daddy” (as I’ve so aptly started calling Him). It was then for the first time that I truly felt that adoption that takes place when one recieves Christ; when you are seen as truly one of God’s children. He led me to Psalm 63:

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped.”

I realized just how desperate I have been for God, and how He has answered that desperation: He has answered it with the very thing he promised to His belivers in His Word – more of Him. Man, He’s incredible. There is no way all this isn’t real. I’m reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote: “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” Because I am a Christian, I take for granted all the things God has provided me and how He has shown Himself to be real. This is because the Christian life by definition is constant fellowship with the Creator of the universe. It’s sad to say, but this almost becomes too “normal” and “everyday” for some Christians and they forget all that they can see, sense, feel, know, do, and experience that non-Christians just can’t, or rather, don’t. I think that’s why in so many Psalms David wrote when he was in spiritual pain, he says things like “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” David kind of gives this as the prescription of getting through times when it seems God has withdrawn His prescence from you. As Matt said, He’s trying to show us if He is enough for us to be satisfied; if we can rejoice and praise in Him merely because He is God and not because of anything He has done for/with/through/by us.

I got to that point on Church Hill. God hit me with one really big realization that I just kept repeating over and over and over again to myself:

He
is
God.

He is GOD. As A.W. Tozer says, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of God is the most important thing about you. What does that word mean? GOD. We take that word so much for granted. Do we really understand how much weight that carries? This is the being that when asked who He was, He said, “I Am the I am.” He doens’t have to answer to us. We as humans should be satisfied just knowing one thing about God: He is. This is the Creator of the unvierse. In our English translation, during the creation account, our Bibles say that God said “Let there be Light!” But rather, the most literal translation of this phrase from the Hebrew is as an imperative where God more literally said:

“Light, be.”

That is strong. Just sit back and REALLY think of that: He is GOD. The very guy we worship and praise, and feel, and know, and have fellowship with is GOD. GOD!!! We think of the word GOD as being more of a name. No; it’s a title that GOD fulfills so much, it is His name. It’s like how every adhesive bandage is called a Band-Aid, when Band-Aid is a brand name, not what those things are called. The word GOD is the same way. The being that is GOD is the only thing that fully exhibits every charcteristic of the word so He is the only one that deserves the title. That’s why ever other god in every other religion is just god. Not GOD. There is no substitute, believe me. Believe me.

I’ll end on Ryan’s response to my E-Mail:

sorry things are down right now… Just remember, trials are part of the deal. They serve a very real purpose in our life of faith. Just keep puttin one foot in front of the other… When I am most down, I often try and remember a time when I was certin that God moved in my life… that usually builds my faith enough to not quit all together…

You are going to make it fella! A good meditation might be 2 corinthians 1. It helps gain perspective on tough times…

You are a mighty man. God loves ya, you are going to do mighty things… be strong friend(joshua 1.9 [“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”])

When I get back I am really gonna need to go to chipotle!

love ya man
_ryan

God Bless,
— Paul<

i just don’t know

/ Paul Burkhart / 3 Comments

well, as of last night, my parents are in formal negotiations to get a divorce.

This is a blessing and it hurts so much. My mom finally gets to get out of the Hell that is marriage to my father, but at the same time, you can imagine how much it hurts for her to pretty much say that the past 23 years of her life have been for nothing more than to raise two kids with great futures. She’s never been loved. My dad has stolen everything from her that every girl spends her entire life dreaming of. She didn’t get to plan her own wedding, her youth is gone, her vibrance is gone, her best chance at truly establishing herself in a career is gone, the submissive woman she was born as has been killed only leaving a hurting bitter woman. Chances are, she will never re-marry. She will never get to know what it feels like to be loved by a man that she can respect and serve. She will never get that.

I really feel like God has told me time and time again, and even now, that she will die a happy woman, proud of her life and satisfied, but with everything she’s been through, felt, seen, done, and lost, I just have no idea how that can be. Does anyone know how it feels to have to recieve calls at least two or three times a week from your own mother in tears? Having to come to you for spiritual, emotional, relationship advice because there’s no one else out there. Her dad is going through so much pain and could die any day now that her parents have even said they don’t want to be involved because it’s just too much to worry about, and they can’t deal with it. Her sister has changed over to my dad’s side, and so my mom doesn’t have her. In short, there are only a few people in my mother’s life that she can talk to. Her aunt, who is the outcast of the family, a cousin who she hasn’t seen in decades, a few people at her job that really don’t know details, they just love on her, and then there’s my brother and I. The only two people that can really be her knights in shining armor that she never had, and my brother is so young that he doesn’t get involved. So that leaves me. I have a full course load, full work schedule, church responsibilities, fears about money, a career I’m trying to establish, and my mother to care for. I single-handedly have to be the husband she never had. Teaching her spiritual truths, guiding her in Scripture, and bearing the greatest emotional burden I’ve ever seen on any one human being.

God has allowed this to happen to my mother for 23 years. WHY!!!!! The only way he has been glorified has been in the people my brother and I have turned out to be. We have broken the generational curse of my father’s family. It’s so easy for people to want to tell her to look at the blessings she doesn have and focus on those. Her children, her career, her . . . well actually that’s about it. It’s so easy for people to say that but what about faith? I was taught that faith was believing in the promises of God. The promises of God are that he wishes to prosper His people and many times through hard times. But he always gives people the grace and strength to remain strong through it. My mom wasn’t built for this. I feel I am the only person holding her together. She doesn’t have the strength for it any longer. She’s so worn out and tired. She lives everyday feeling the power of Satan within our household. She says it feels like this stench that just won’t go away, this slime that can’t be washed off. It permeates in everything that is said and done. She was made to be a loving, submissive, quiet Christian woman and was thrust into being the man of the house in everything because my father was so weak and unhelpful. She wasn’t made to do that. And people want to complain about her cursing and calling people names when she’s hurt by them. If you kick even the mildest dog long enough, even it will start to bite back after being hurt so much. Does that mean it’s the dog’s fault for being kicked? NO!!!! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS HAPPEN GOD!!!??? Where are you helping my mom? I love her so much, I’m caring for her so much. Don’t you see that if you save this marriage and end her pain now, you can be glorified so much more than if you let it die. WHY. why.

For anyone that does just happen to read this, this is not typical doubting of God. If anyone answers this, please don’t give any shallow cliche Sunday School answers, because this is so horrible of a situation, none of you could understand the depth, length, width, and breadth of pain that my mother has had to go through. I am quite literally, as a 19 year old freshman triple major in college keeping my mother alive in more ways than one. This is such a burden. It hurts so much. All I can do is cry. I feel guilty ever mentioning anything to anyone because this isn’t an easy situation to explain, and most people don’t want to take the time to understand; and that’s understandable. Believe me, I know how much of a burden it is to bear, and I wish it upon no one. I don’t know what I need. I need my mom to stop hurting. That is my only desire. the other day I was praying in the Spirit for her, and while I was facedown on my floor, I cried out to God, to put her pain on me so that she no longer had it. Instead of doing that, he gave me a taste of that pain. All of a sudden, I could feel the Holy Spirit within me, choking, gagging for air, and I felt like such a huge weight was on me, I couldn’t get up. That was only a taste of the pain my mom and her soul go thorugh everyday. Everything around her reminds her of the failure that is the past 23 years of her life. And she followed God every step of the way.

I’m not doubting God or losing faith in Him. I’ve seen His promises come true for everybody in my entire life, especially myself, except for my own mother. That’s what I just dont’ understand. She has been faith ful in every step God has called her to no matter how much more pain it put her in. She has been the strongest, most Godly woman I’ve ever known, and yet she is the most broken, bereaved, hurting, confused, dying, tormented, persecuted, lonely person I’ve ever known; and she just can’t do it anymore. Sh ejust can’t. She’s so, so very tired. I love her so much, I spend so much time talking to her, encouraging her, pushing her, trying to gove her strength, trying to sacrifice my life for hers the best I can as she did for me. Where is her reward. Not thorugh her sons, but HER reward. Where is her relief. She needs it. I want to take on her entire burden. I bleieve this has made me into a man that could handle it if I was able to. I feel like Joshua, having to hold up Moses’ arms with the staff during the fight. I wanna just hold the staff myself, and run down that hill and win the battle for her. I want to just give her the life she’s always dreamed of, the one she sacrificed for me. I want to be able to give her all that she’s never had, even though that’s not possible.

Please, no one try to help. There’s really nothing anyone but God can do at this point and he doesn’t seem to be doing anything right now. Don’t worry, neither of us are losing faith or love for God, we just don’t understand Him. No one can do anything but pray. Just pray. That’s all that can be done. Just pray . . ..

Just needed to vent and cry. Sorry for anyone that reads this and is burdened by it. That wasn’t my intention. I’ll wipe away the tears, and sleep, to wake up to one more day of smiling and telling everyone I’m doing okay, when I am so tired. But I’ve had 19 years doing it so don’t worry. I thrive on stress. Please just pray. Anyone and everyone. Just pray . . . That’s all that can be done.

Outward thinking

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

As most people know, I am a very dangerous mixture of a person.

First of all, I am an intellectual (this list is not in order of priorities of what I identify with more, it’s just for the sake of rhetorical flow) that feeds off ideas and knowledge; what makes me an intellectual rather than a pure nerd is that the knowledge I seek, discuss, and find I actually apply it to my life and adjust my behaviors accordingly. It’s not quite just simply memorizing useless facts. This gives me the storehouse from which I can pull info to tell people certain things.

Secondly, I am a Christian, which by its very nature gives me the responsibility and burden to tell people certain things.

Thirdly, my primary spiritual gift is as a teacher, which allows me the ability to tell people these things with a certain sense of authority (only from God, of course).

Fourthly and finally, the single adjective that can describe everything about me the best is the word “passionate” which gives me the desire to tell people certain things from that storehouse of knowledge in my head that so affects how I look at the world.

In short, I talk. A lot. I think I assume that others are like me and everything they hear they apply to the “big picture” of their worldview much like someone would apply a puzzle piece to a puzzle. That ‘s how I work. Don’t assume that I’m just constantly changing opinions. No, everyone knows that I have convictions. Rather, as is the case of spiritual truths, I believe the best way to understand God is to try to step back and apply each new truth you learn in your relationship with Him to the big picture of who he is. Most people hear a good sermon on God’s justice and then they proceed to fear Him until they hear a good sermon on His grace, after which they begin to just love Him and thank Him. I think in order to worship all parts of Him, we must be able to apply all truths, and all bits of knowledge to the big picture of who He is, not just as a long list of attributes on paper.

Anyway, my point is this. I have noticed in myself a definite spike in the level of discussions I’ve been having (both in quality and quantity) with Christians on deep theological concepts. a-millenialism vs. pre-millenialism and Charismatic/Pentacostal movements vs. Cessationsts have been the biggest topics. A lot of people don’t understand why I’ve been doing this; they continue to tell me that outside of salvation, this stuff doesn’t matter. That’s true and not true.

Where it is true that saving knowledge does not require a perfectly correct set of doctrinal beliefs, as I said above, each of these things affects our worldview – the filter through we which we see/feel/do all things.

So right now I am laying it all out there for everybody:
Though I spent most my life in a pre-millenialist, cessationist church indoctrination, I have since found those things to be unbiblical and incorrect. The truth, as I see it in God’s Word of a-millenialism and the full workings of the Holy Spirit have changed my walk with God in a way that I wish everyone could experience.

Finally, I come to my point of writing all of this tonight, including the preceeding poem (actually, they’re song lyrics, but I just put some loose structure on them and called it a poem). Those two theological things have for the first time began to give me the proper view of my spiritual walk: IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!! It’s about the Kingdom of God. Used to I was driven to evangelize out of fear for my friends, now I am driven by purpose – because to evangelize the lost is the only reason why I am still here on Earth rather in Heaven with God; it is my reason for living. That’s why I entitled this post “Outward thinking.” Because that is where we must all arrive; to a place of outward thinking where God will use the “foolishness of our preaching” even in spite of being “the chief of sinners.” God’s Will will be done in this Earth, and if I am to live up to my purpose, I must give God the chance for Him to execute that Will through me.

“I just want to be able to look in the mirror again and to see your face instead.”
“I will either fail or conquer, die or live, but either way I’m yours”
God I love you so much and fear you with all my heart. Help me not to get so wrapped up into intellectualism that it substitutes for you, because nothing can adequately do that. Help me be a true Christian that doesn’t obey you to get control or leverage, but rather obeys you to get more of You. Use me and my foolishness for your purposes O God.

Amen.

–Paul<

massive prayer request

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

Tonight was ENLI at Harvest. I got a word from God tonight that I just need to share. God really hit me with the fact that revival will sweep across this campus at the sight of a miracle; an outworking of His Spirit on this campus. Something big will occur. God really laid on my heart what that miracle could very well be, and that is what needs prayer. God thrust upon my heart a burden for a guy named Matt in my dorm. Matt has either Muscular Dystrophy or Multiple Scelerosis and is in a motorized wheelchair. He is not a Christian. God just told me that this guy will be healed and walk from his chair after an entire life in it and no prospect for the future. Right after getting that burden at the end of ENLI, I was walking back to my dorm and guess who crossed my path – Matt in his wheelchair. I was able to say hey and lay a hand on Him and whisper a quick silent prayer. I then proceeded into the elevator where I was just forced to begin praying in the Spirit and continued that in my room, followed by some pretty intense confessing of Scripture.

This is a huge test for my faith. I don’t know whether to ask God to heal Him, thank Him that He will, that He already has, or just believe it will be done. I’m really knew to this supernatural aspect of the Christian life, but I really believe that this can be the supernatural miracle God was telling me about that will finally set off the fire every spirit-filled Christian at VCU has been feeling and anticipating.

For anyone that reads this, please pass this on to anyone who has a gift of healing, or just anyone that is filled with the Spirit and has faith this can and will be done. This will need a great barrier of prayer. Something big is about to happen at VCU, I just know it. God is beginning to move supernaturally at UofR, and God is preparing to do so here at VCU. Everyone that reads this – just pray. Pray in the Spirit; He knows better than us what to say.

God Bless and have faith always,
— Paul <

God is good; all the time. And all the time . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

Last night Mike on my floor got saved!!!!

I have been taking him to a lot of church functions, talking to him, and praying for him for a while now. He has had the desire and belief in God all his life, but had never turly made that real decision to make Jesus his Lord and accepting his salvation. I’m still working with him and discipling him, but he better know that this is only the beginning of a long, awesome, difficult journey.

Last night, God really hit me and showed me his glory in a new way. It was so invigorating!! Part of me thinks I got more out of Mike’s salvation experience than he did (though I know not).

Also last night, my IV Small Group had one of the most incredible testominoy and prayer meetings ever. I mean, there was SO MUCH PRAYER!!! In the words of my fellow Harvest Renewers “It WAS GOOD!” It is so amazing that there are groups of guys that without their parents forcing them are coming out tp prayer for their fellow men of Christ. It gives me hope for the future that this next generation of men will actually be able to please women and treat them the way they are meant to and actually be successful in making them happy and raising Godly men. These guys are so awesome and incredible! I get so lifted up and encouraged by them. It is the way the family of God should actually be. They will rebuke me, praise me (or rather God’s ability to be expressed through me), lift me up, teach me, and allow me to do the same for them.

Speaking of, tomorrow I am sending in my application to join the Intervaristy Leadership staff. I am planning to apply to the positions of Small Group Leader and Praise team member. I am so excited about the Small Group Leader position. I hopefully will be paired up with my awesome brother in Christ Matt Robinett (also a fellow Harvest Renewer). The Praise Team position I am kind of nervous about, though. Admittedly, from singing a lot more in my car, just this past week, that wall that had been before my voice and making it not very powerful or not sounding very good was broken. Now I can sing again; but I’ve always been nervous singing. That’s why I want to play lead guitar in the praise band like I used to do back home, rather than singing. Unfortunately (though I feel God leading me to this), I am being told that all of our male voices will be gone next year, leaving me to have to fill the vocal spot rather than the guitar spot. That’s nerve racking, to say the least, but I keep being reminded that just as God is glorified in the folly of our words (1 Corinthians 1), he will also be glorified through the folly of my pitch and vocal quality. Whatever needs to be done to glorify God and expand His Kingdom. I feel like this is only the first glorious step on my new journey with Christ. It really feels like I am stepping through a door. Kinda like Dorothy stepping out of the black and white and entering the new world of the color. In the past several months I have had my view of God reformed, reshaped, and added upon, so that I have a new image of the God I worship. I really feel like this new world I am stepping into is the one that I am now meant to apply these new truths and perspectives. GOD IS SO INCREDIBLE!!!! He really is. He is a living God. Real, breathing, dynamic and real to every true believer; constantly showing and revealing himself to me NOT so I can just sit there and say “oh, that’s neat” but rather to go out and use the new perspective to glorify God by expanding His Kingdom by bringing as many people as I can to a faith in Christ.

Okay . . . I am just going to put the pulpit away right now. I’ll have plenty of time to do that later.

Anyway, I am going. Sorry for the lack of update to the Bible sites. That is changing. Pray for me and my family always, but things are changing and coming back to the way they are supposed to be.

God be glorified and lifted up.

Last piece of advice to everyone out there: Don’t fight it; just do as you’re told; Go and make disciples of all nations, okay?

— Paul<

singleness revised . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 1 Comment

My campus minister read my previous post and had some really good thoughts that actually changed a lot of the way I look at this topic.
He said…
——————————————————–
Hmmmm…

Interesting thoughts. You bring up many points worthy of discussion (unfortunately, typing on a computer doesn’t constitute a conversation, so I will simply make some comments… my two cents, if you will).

I would argue that God’s pronouncement that man not having a “helper fit for him” was “not good” does not necessitate that Adam felt any “need” for a companion (or that he was lonely, sad, or any other related emotion). The text is silent as to the emotional state of Adam. I think it safe to assume that Adam had no emotional response for having no helper fit for him (or, at the very least, his emotion response was inconsequential… if it were not, surly mention would have been made of it). From a strictly logical standpoint, how can one miss (or yearn for) what he as never known. In other words, how can Adam desire a woman (wife) when woman didn’t exist? However, if by chance Adam was “feeling alone”, it seems unlikely (and against the nature of a Sovereign God) that He looked at Adam and saw him upset about being alone and this in turn caused God to say, “I guess it is not good what I made… Adam is clearly alone and he needs me to make him a helper.” If God is simply reactionary to our emotions (more specifically, the emotions of the first man) I believe this belittles God supremacy and places man at the center of all things (A place he was not created to occupy – ref. Romans 11.36). I think the safest exposition here is that God’s declaration of man being alone was just that, a declaration.

(ok.. I just had like an hour long interruption, so I have basically lost my train of thought… must go read again)

In paragraph 2 there seems to be a pre-supposition that singleness = pain. While I can easily remember the desire to find “the one” when I was single, I definitely do not think that singleness should be considered painful (Paul… uh, the apostle, obviously thought that being single was pretty great – ref. 1 Corinthians 7.7).

QUOTE: but rather only in looking towards God and seeking Him can we find the person that can fill that void. — While I don’t think there is a void, I do really like this point and believe it applicable to all areas of life (ref – Matthew 6.33).

So, the 20 million dollar question from the third to last paragraph is, “if the next girl you date is not going to be your wife… why date her?” :o) I couldn’t resist. the real question is what is the purpose of dating? In “the church” there are so many opinions and terms in relation to dating and courtship… I consider it most critical that all single men and women examine his or her approach to relationships and truly seek to come to what they believe is God’s plan. Society has really messed things up and I think it is time for our generation to regain a proper approach to relationships and end this culture of divorce that prevails everywhere.

QUOTE: As long as I seek His will, everything else will fall into place.

— “Amen”

Well, I’m going home. Thanks for making me think.

_ryan

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

~socrates

—————————————————-
I think he is absolutely right, actually. Usually I’m not so easily swayed in these kind of things, but after reading his response, I couldn’t help but rethink things. I guess that’s why he’s the discipler and I’m the disciplee. Though I would argue the purpose of dating to be to get to know people, learn the dynamics of relationships, help you learn how to relate to others of the opposite sex, and so on; I totally think that modern society has distorted its function and form. Personally, I’m more of a fan of the courting method, but seeing as it’s hard to find others that agree, I think the same goals can be served through dating if done correctly with God as the center of the relationship. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and my campus minister is an example of that. The story of how him and his wife got together is amazing, and I am persoanlly aiming for that kind of relationship with someone, completely grounded and founded in friendship, selfless love, and Christ as the head. Other than the dating point, I totally agree with Ryan. Having someone romantically in your life should not be necessary to effectively serve God. In fact, many times (as Ryan points out about Paul, the apostle) being single is exactly what God calls people to be because you can better serve God in that capacity. Ryan told me one of the most amazing things the other day as we left lunch at Chipotle (yeah baby!). I told him about the loneliness I was feeling and that I was such a hopeless romantic I had all this “romanticism” built up inside of me (not sexual tension, mind you) and I really wanted someone I cared about so I could just shower them with this. He asked me to consider what that meant. What did it mean to “shower someone” with that? Inevitably, I realized, the outworking of those feelings would eventually become a physical manifestation of them, which would cause the inevitable physical complications found in most relationsips that I, admittedly, thought I was above by now. This made me praise God that He has in fact kept me from a relationship in the past few years that would become prey to the same complications that evey “normal” and secualr relationship falls to. Even as I write this, dating, or rather, serious relationships, or seeming more and more useless and in fact harmful to my Christian walk. I want to thank Ryan for saying that and making realize that even that romance I should be saving for my future wife, not just the physical manifestations thereof, and want to thank God that he has kept me pure thus far, and will continue to do so for my future wife, whoever she may be. So, whoever she will be, I love you, and just know that all this is being done, said, and worked out in me so that I can give you the most of me that I can.

God Bless, everyone,

— Paul <

singleness . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / 3 Comments

God really hit me tonight with some realizations about singleness. It all started with “the beginning . . .”: Genesis.

Most everybody knows the creation story pretty well. Most people know that after each thing that God created, He said “It is good.” Well, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but the first time that God ever says the phrase “It is not good” is in Genesis 2:18. The verse says:

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

This showed me a few things. Mainly, people are meant to be together. It is “not good” for people to be alone. We have each been created with that inbred desire for companionship. That pain of loneliness that we have all experienced at some point or another – some more often than others (speaking from personal experience) is a feeeling that comes natural to man. Notice also that God was saying this was “not good” before the fall of man. That means that the craving for someone to be with is a pain that is not a consequence of our sin nature.

Following this logic, it is not a bad thing to feel this pain and experience it; it is not an evidence of spiritual deficiency or lack in anyway. Also, if this is a pain that comes from being human, it is a hunger that can only be truly satiated by God. I’m not saying that God Himself is supposed to fill that need, but rather only in looking towards God and seeking Him can we find the person that can fill that void. That said, if we are trusting God, then we can know that if we are experiencing singleness and the pain that goes along with it, it is only because God can be glorified greater through us being single than with someone. Thus, (here I indict myself some) we should accept the pain for what it is and embrace it, because it will only be that much sweeter when we do find someone.

Also, these verses and the meditations reaffirmed even more my love and respect for women. Anyone that knows me knows the pedestal I put woman as a whole upon. I’m so old-fashioned, it frustrates some girls sometimes. Opening doors, doing the driving, and paying for them, is the proper way to treat a woman. Don’t worry, I’m not overbearing. I’ve always said that women were God’s greatest gift to mankkind. This verse supports that. John MacArthur said on his biblcal commentary on this verse that “This verse points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency.” Amen. Psychologically speaking, women can set off chemicals and psychological responses in men that men could only dream about doing to women. The greatness of women are the reason they have my utmost respect and honor. I just can’t wait for my wife. I dream of treating her as much like a queen as I possibly can.

In response to that, I conclude with this verse (one of my new favorites):

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

— Romans 8:24-25

I pray to God for my future wife every day, and I just want to thank Him for her now, whoever she will be. I may have met her, I may have not; but in the meantime I’m madly in love with her. Don’t think I’m this weird creepy guy. I’m not. I’m just an overly-romantic dorky guy. I’ll keep dating. I’m not expecting the next girl I date or even my next girlfriend to be my wife. God will lead me to her, I don’t need to hurry things along. Learning from my parents, I am not going to prematurely marry the next person I feel “warm-fuzzies” for. In fact, I sometimes fear I’m going to be too picky.

Right now, apparently God has called me to singleness and it definitely has glorified Him, even though it has definitely been painful. I’ve been ready for a relationship for a while, but I’m not going to look for it and end up screwing something/someone up. My creed when it comes to any realtionship is to take it slow.

Something inside of me though does feel like someone is coming my way. . . I don’t know. Whatever God wants. As long as I seek His will, everything else will fall into place.

God Bless,

— Paul <

God . . . again . . .

/ Paul Burkhart / Leave a comment

ha-ha! I am back in the work force!

My previous job (that I still lost) was selling tickets to school groups that wanted to see the plays that my company (Theatre IV) was putting on in various parts of the east side of the country. These plays are put on by our groups of touring actors at various theatre venues that we rent out. Okay, so anyway, I lost that job.

Theatre IV is connected to those touring shows, shows that happen here in Richmond just down Broad Street in the beautiful, historic, Empire Theatre, and shows that happen down in Willow Lawn Shopping Center at Barksdale Theatre. In other words, all those things are connected under the same company.

The founders of the company, Phil Whiteway and Bruce Miller, work in my office building so I see them a lot.

Needless to say, I have come out very much on their good side, and that’s a good thing, for both of them were voted two of the 100 most influential people in Richmond. I had one talk with Phil, and he set me up with an interview and praise with Sarah who works with Barksdale Theatre. Because of his praise, she said when I walked in the interview: “This isn’t going to be a normal interview. If Phil says you’re good, then you’re good, so I’m just going to ask you for your availibility.” So I have a job to come back to after break. Actually, two jobs.

My biggest job is my new position as the “House Manager” of Barksdale Theatre, one of, it not the most high brow professional theatre here in Richmond. Also, I am going to be working the box office for Empire Theatre.

I’m telling you, when God puts a peace in your heart where you feel like everything is going to be okay, he means it. I had that peace from the beginning as my post only two days ago showed. And look at all he’s done. This is a huge step fpr me professionally. The House Manager job itself has so much responsibility, it’s crazy they’re letting a Freshman college student do it.

Anyway, to anyone that prayed for me, thank you so much. It helped.

God Bless,

— Paul<