I know I’m late on the whole Valentine’s Day thing, but here’s my contribution to the romance posting in the blogosphere.  This is part of an email I wrote a while ago to a really good friend.  She was really liking this guy and was about to hang out with him for the first time and was really nervous about how she was going to act during the evening.  I wrote this to her and she has since said it was very encouraging.  She has returned often since I wrote it.  So, with her permission, I’m posting this, hoping it might be helpful to anyone else out there.

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My advice to you: relax, STOP OVERANALYZING, call some people, wear something really cute tonight, drink a beer (not some girly drink – just kidding), and be the flawed and weak sinner you are. Don’t force conversation to just be about Jesus because you think that’s what he would most like. Respond to his initiations. If you end up only talking to him the whole night because he won’t stop talking to you, then that’s a win – don’t freak out. don’t try to put forward some image – don’t. That will make you stressed out, cheesy, and end up walking away feeling like you’ve had your foot in your mouth the whole night.

All that you need to most fully be who you are has been perfectly accomplished on your behalf by another. Your righteousness is in heaven, so you don’t need to seek the approval or affection of any human being because both of those have been bestowed upon you by your Lover and King. So now walk in freedom. Walk in rest. Any man that is meant to love you in this way will love you as Christ does and see your sins and failings and insecurities more as cute quirks than deal-breaking negatives. So freely be the disgusting failure of a human being you are that deserves the full wrath of God to be poured out on her. But know that this same God – out of the cloud of wrath and anger that hung so perilously over your head – has extended a hand of mercy and grace. Know that you have taken that hand. Know that He has granted you to know the highest of all divine wisdom – the most intimate of His secret counsel – the Gospel. Know that he has clothed you in a Beauty far surpassing that of this world – His very own Righteousness. Know that while you were at your worst, He pursued you relentlessly and tirelessly just to bring you to Himself and love you and love you and love you. If you truly believe these things at the heart-faith level, then you’ll be able to do my greatest piece of advice for you and the thing to which i have been building in this email all along:

Relax and enjoy all this. Take in every moment. Take note of everything this raises in your heart. Let love be genuine. Hate what is evil but hold fast to what is good.

And know that this is good.

see ya sis,

–paul